It has nothing to do with your identity. They all have different rules and different communities. Its more like which hotel chain you prefer to stay at. Its a preference for sure, but one that doesnt matter much.
People who judge based on instance are only outing themselves anyways. Churlish.
it does say something though about what style of moderation you prefer and who you associate yourself with. that’s why it’s literally part of the identity you present. it’s embedded in your username. it’s like your fediverse last name.
I’ve been on Lemmy for a year and only now I’m learning about instances. I’ve read a few threads about lemmy.ml being “tankies” and that hexbear is the worst, but haven’t had any negative interactions with either. Shit, I don’t know the majority of the time which instance I’m interacting with.
Sort of, at best it means that instance hasnt banned that person, yet.
You could argue it means something more than nothing, I’d argue its not enough to matter.
People really want to be allowed to be bigots and currently Communism is “safe” to hate, so they let a few interactions color their opinion of an entire, loosely-affiliated group.