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55 points

Being literally-ignorant of morality would be a justifiable defense. according to the story, they had no knowledge of good and evil, and therefore could not knowingly sin. They’d be declared mentally incompetent to stand trial and, given that it was just a fucking apple (or probably not, actually…); the prosecutor chided for wasting the courts time.

but then, it’s a bronze age myth and they really didn’t give a fuck about niceties like ‘presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law’, or due process in general.

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-1 points
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idk man. they were in heaven and god was like “look you can have everything you desire, just stay away from this one single tree. ok? this is my tree. you will get literally everything you wish for, at your fingertips, immediately, except this one fucking tree. can you do that?”

and they went “nah lol”

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9 points

and they went “nah lol”

Any one who’s raised kids knows that the moment they created that one restriction, it set up a fascination with that tree. Curiosity is like that. The more they remind themselves they can’t, the more they wonder.

All the other stuff? Boring. Old news.

More over, they were literally the definition of ignorant. They had no understanding of good,evil, or sin; only that they were told not to.

Like toddlers. Except instead of teaching toddlers to behave, he kicked them out of the home, disowns them and says “good luck, fuck off, and oh if you come back a giant flaming sword will go up your ass.”

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38 points

I wrote an essay about that once. Adam and Eve were meant to chill in the garden for literally all of eternity but were still created as curious, fallible beings with no knowledge of evil. Ergo it was logically impossible that they wouldn’t have eaten the fruit eventually, whether that was in 3 days or 3 million years.

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46 points

It doesn’t take an omniscient being who can see the entirety of the past, present and future to know that.

Which, means they were decidedly not meant to chill in the garden. Rather, they were meant to eat the fruit and gaslight into believing it was their fault.

It’s like some idiotic-asshole who gets a pair of golden retrievers, tells them they can have all the kibble and dog treats they want, but not the pizza left on the counter.

Of course Adam and Steve are gonna snarf on the pizza the moment Jackass leaves. It’s not their fault. They’re just dogs.

(What? This is my story. The dogs are Adam and Steve.)

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13 points

Exactly. In keeping with my other comments, that’s why some early christian sects actually viewed Eve as a hero in the story, because she freed them from ignorance… You know, back when christianity was driven by women and wasn’t just roman ideology wearing a Jesus skin mask.

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3 points

Affluenza

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