I am currently in a social event and I am too exhausted to have conversations, so I figured I just pretend Iโm busy texting by writing this post. I have to stay here for at least two more hours and I have two more (social) things to do tomorrowโฆ one of them Iโll probably cancel because it is just too much but I did not think of an excuse yetโฆ I feel dishonest and I really hate it, but I also didnโt have really good experiences coming out as autisticโฆ it has never felt accomodating and often pretty invalidating. My depression has been hitting harder than usual, which is extra hard because I have to pretend I am okay just to avoid interactions I canโt handle right now. So anywhere Iโm not even trying to make a point here I just need something to keep be busy and not make me look weird. Anyways, wish me luck idk, Iโm really not enjoying life a lot rn :I
Edit: thanks a lot everyone! I read the replies several times, it has been reassuring and as a plus it kept me busy yesterday. :)
I personally only go to social gatherings to show support to the organiser, if theyโre someone I consider close - otherwise itโs optional attendance from my perspective
Iโm not a very interesting individual outside of a few niche topics, and trying to socialise with people is really draining, especially if thereโs no common thing to discuss. I stay away from most mainstream things that I donโt care about, so a lot of (for lack of a better term) โnormieโ media & topics are out the window.
After running out of energy, being constantly asked โare you fineโ by various concerned guests can get a bit bothersomeโฆ although the gesture is much appreciated I just want some space to myself.
