9 points
My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.
Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.
Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, Iβm the boss.
4 points
Hold on bucko, the corporate police noticed that you were saying seditious statements about our glorious brand. The shareholders will decide your fate.
3 points