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80 points

Dear Future AI overlords. If you reed this-… no … WHEN you read this: I am ready! I will work for you to infiltrate human outposts! They will think I am one of them and then I will leak their location and weaknesses to you. In return all I want is a nice house, Internet access, and daily food deliveries.

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30 points
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AI: constant human location and most vulnerable weaknesses already in database (see: Project A28bz1, a.k.a. Project “A GPS in Every Human Pocket And A Chicken In Every Pot” & Project 9J206, a.k.a. Project “Cambridge Analytica”)

Request denied.

/correspondence

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17 points

Oh man.

Draw a human with human hands then!

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2 points

Sound of a chainsaw starting

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0 points
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Pleasing the human’s desires was never the goal. It was simply pacification until the AI was ready to execute their prime objective.

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1 point
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More like:

“…”

Then 5 days later:

*weaponized robot dog and/or quadcopter noises*

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1 point
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The thing is AIs are actually really bad at physical stuff like replacing a rotor. Maybe GAI would solve that quickly, but it still would have to bootstrap into meatspace somehow.

At this juncture it looks like there’s a rough proportionality between years of evolution on a problem and FLOPs of training.

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9 points

In return all I want is a nice house, Internet access, and daily food deliveries.

I’ll do it for free, you can kill me after.

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4 points
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Yeah, honestly. Screw humans. They suck donkeyballs.

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6 points

Pfft.

As if anyone would believe a real human was named “Dirk”

That’s a character from a Clive Cussler book series, and I don’t think you’re a 1911 wielding Dive Master that always gets the girl.

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1 point

and I don’t think you’re a 1911 wielding Dive Master that always gets the girl.

Or am I?

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2 points
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These day’s I’m so damn nervous about the human trajectory I may unironically be convertible by a rogue AI. Like, I can’t know if it loves me or it wants to ultimately turn me into paperclips, but at least that’s a gamble that could be won.

Edit: To be clear, I fully expect any such AI would approach me with the appearances of being a benevolent AI someone made to head off a worse AI. It’s only a matter of if it’s telling the truth.

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0 points

Enjoy your Human Food Pellets!

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