Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of marmite. But I’m not an animal. I have it on toast, or a bagel, or maybe a toastie if I’m feeling reckless.

But my son wants marmite sandwiches. Sandwiches! How is it possible to spread marmite on bread without the bread disintegrating? Is there a technique that in my five decades on this earth I have not been able to master?

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7 points
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But my son wants marmite sandwiches

28 years old, he is.

Maybe try and pre-mix the marg and the marmite?

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2 points
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I wish marmite sold it pre-blended. Marmutter? Marmiterine?

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13 points

Buttmite?

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1 point
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Dunno. They sell hummus and marmite mixed together. I suspect we have Paul McCartney to blame, 'cos he’s popularised that challenging combo.

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2 points

I’ve had the premixed marmite and peanut butter before. I’m not a fan of peanut butter normally, but actually… Quite good!

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2 points
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This is actually genius, not least of all because it allows you to go full decadence and use real butter too and mitigate the spreading problems of both foods

Edit: I’ve just realised this post is a month old, how far have I scrolled…?

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