Hello!
I am new here, and new to the LGBT community in general. Around 6-7 weeks ago I realized I was trans(htf do you make it to 30 and not realize?)
In talking to my therapist, they said they(belonging to the community themselves) like to use queer as shorthand since it includes everyone and isn’t an unending acronym that is constantly getting new letters. I also like that and would use it, but being new, I’m not sure how others who’ve been here longer feel.
Are they equivalent?
I don’t like how the acronym keeps changing and accidentally leaving out a letter could be taken as an intentional slight.
Sort of equivalent. “Queer” was once used as a sharp slur by many homophobes, but it’s been actively reclaimed by the community and used as a badge of honor instead to remove its power as a slur. Some older members may still take offense to it just because of the historical context that they lived through, but I imagine anyone of your age or younger has zero problem with the word and probably use it themselves.
In definition, “queer” is meant to describe someone deviating from the norm. As your therapist described, in this community its often used as a catch-all for people who don’t fit cleanly into the lesbian/gay/trans labeled bins. Its also frequently used when someone has more than one gender/sexuality identifications. But you’re welcome to use it with only just one.
Technically, the acronym “LGBTQ+” includes Queer in itself, as the Q. But we all know that acronym sucks to use in conversation a lot lol.
I definitely remember hearing my dad use it that way as a kid. Although, back then It was probably used for gay, I don’t know who else was really know about existing in the sticks in the 90s.
I have understood it to mean anything non-cis/het, which is at the very least what I know about myself. I suppose depending how the trans journey goes I may not be able to consider myself straight either 😂 that’d be a trip! That has been in my head when fantasizing about being brave or comfortable enough to know who I am and come out, “I used to think I was straight and cis, turns out, I’m neither 🤷♀️”
I have understood it to mean anything non-cis/het, which is at the very least what I know about myself.
you understand the broad value of using a single, all-encompassing word, then. You’re in good company - many queer folks find that it takes them years to really solidify their gender and sexuality after they come out for the first time, and even then there are always surprises about who you find yourself attracted to or what you feel comfortable wearing. drawing sharp boundaries isn’t productive when the boundaries are so fluid - for many, it makes more sense to just call yourself “queer” and define your gender and sexuality for yourself as you go.
Plus, I feel like we don’t even really have words for all the different ways that one can be attracted to other people, and so sometimes the long acronym feels like a limiting concept made up by straight people. Am I even allowed to feel a form of attraction or express a gender identity that isn’t one of the pre-existing letters in the acronym? If i’m sometimes attracted to androgynous people specifically with long legs and a short torso, are we going to add another letter to the acronym for that? Or can we just agree that it’s all part of the beautiful queer rainbow and move on?
Huh, I’ve always thought “queer” encompasses both those who fit neatly into the gay, lesbian, bi, or trans bins as well as those who don’t. In other words, I thought it meant
a person who is at least one of:
- not cisgender
- not heterosexual
- not heteroromantic
So basically the same as LGBTQ+ except that 1) it’s easier to say than LGBTQ+ and 2) it’s a reclaimed word that not all people in the community have reclaimed so it will make more of the people it describes uncomfortable than “LGBTQ+” will.
