BREAKING: Apple is filing a legal action on the folk lore of Johnny Appleseed, requesting changes to the tale. Johnny’s name will be changed to Timmy Apple, a reference to Apple’s CEO Tim Cook. It also states that instead of planting apple trees, Timmy is distributing iPhones, iPads, and MacBooks; and rather than them being free, Apple will be charging recipients market price for each item.
-Apple, probably.
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