I can relate 100% to what you’ve said, except that I used to also be mostly non communicative as a child.

I have a lot of self esteem issues, which is also most likely why I don’t share much with others, unless they are talking about very specific genres of music that I like. Most of the time though my brain is so foggy feeling, and in a jumble that I find it hard to form coherent sentences. The anxiety doesn’t help with that. Growing up I’d also hide among creative extroverts, but now I have 2 people I can call friends, I ditched the rest of them when I realised how toxic they were.

I’ve met other autistic people, but never spent enough time with them to become friends. If you ever want to talk then feel free to message me.