whelp, there it is
You might also check out https://kbin.social
FWIW, some friends and I are running our own Lemmy instance, but we’re not completely sold on it either yet. And just software-wise, some pretty important things are missing. There’s actually no way to see, besides going into the database and querying it directly, a list of users on your own instance, for example.
And of course community-wise, Lemmy.ml (the most popular instance, run by lemmy devs) has some questionable moderation. It’s probably better to read about that on another instance, since discussion of censorious moderation is itself subject to censorious moderation.