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61 points

Try being on the apps for a year without a match. Really helps boost the old self esteem.

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24 points

Do young people not go places to meet new people anymore? I haven’t been single since dating apps got real popular, but I still feel most people who partner up probably aren’t meeting on the Internet.

I haven’t been single in a long time, but any time I go out there always seems to be single women looking for company, at least enough to try hitting on a dude with a ring.

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57 points

Less walkable communities, less free time, and more remote work lead to isolation. Our capitalist society was not designed for meeting people, it was designed to make people work

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8 points

But why are selfish millennials killing the birthrate?!

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4 points
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Our capitalist society was not designed for meeting people

This is strange because people that are coupled (and eventually have children) are stronger consumers than a single person.

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24 points

Where exactly am I supposed to meet people, the grocery store? I could go to bars but I don’t drink. People always say to join groups or meet people through hobbies but all of my hobbies are complete sausage fests. Dating people you work with is usually a bad idea but that doesn’t matter anyways because almost all of the people I work with are men. People say just meet more friends but I already have more friends than I can keep up with. Actually most of those friends are even women. But none of them are around my age, single, and interested in dating me.

I’m starting to become convinced that single women who are my age don’t actually exist. I’m not sure what bank vault the government is keeping them locked up in but it certainly isn’t anywhere I go. The dating app minefield is the only place I’ve even been able to find women who are around my age. Like I legitimately don’t know where they all go. It’s baffling. They just don’t seem to exist anywhere outside of dating apps.

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13 points
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I’m not trying to discount any of your feelings or experiences, I went through this same thing for years until I met my current (and first) gf; for context I was 28 when we started going out.

I hated hearing it when I was in your situation but it’s always been true for me, work on yourself and keep yourself open and things will eventually happen. I gave up trying to find a girlfriend when I was 27 after years of striking out irl and on dating apps and decided to focus on myself. I was starting a graduate program and got a cool public art opportunity through my city so I just put all my energy into that which helped me focus less on tinder and my lack of sex (kinda) . One day this girl I worked with dumped her loser boyfriend and after several failed attempts to ask her out (I’m bad at putting things down, she’s bad at picking things up) i finally had a date. Four years later and she’s begging me for a ring.

Life is tough and even harder when you don’t have someone to experience it with. Again, I don’t know your situation and I don’t want to just be another asshole saying things will get better cause I fucking hate those people when I was sad and lonely, but I genuinely do believe good things come to those who wait. Keep yourself open to new experiences and listen to your gut if it’s telling you to take a chance.

Or tell me to stfu, that’s cool too I get it and won’t be upset.

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8 points
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I mean, probably dont want to hear this but if all of your hobbies are complete sausage fests but you want to meet women organically you should try out some hobbies that women are more likely to do. Dancing classes, cooking classes, improv comedy groups, yoga, certain adult sports leagues etc. Once you have a few women friends it becomes much easier to meet more and most women would love to set up their friemds if they think you’re cool.

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7 points

I don’t want to sound critical, but it seems as if you are trying to fish from the same spots you’ve never had any luck with.

I believe when people say to meet people through hobbies, they’re typically meaning new hobbies. If you aren’t finding any suitable partners within your horizons, looking more often probably isn’t going to help. That’s a sign that it’s probably time to expand your horizons, do things you haven’t before, try something you don’t have an interest in, be uncomfortable, change your environment.

The world isn’t hiding women from you, you are hiding from the women.

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2 points

This might be a wild idea but how do you feel about asking you friends, male and female, if they know of any single women and for them to set you up on some dates? A few are bound to know someone and something might come out of it (at the very least an amusing anecdote).

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1 point

Our parents used to meet at the grocery store. At church, at college, at bars, at sports events. Then we started saying we can’t do that anymore, maybe for good reasons, but at what cost?

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13 points
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It’s a matter of perceived convenience and a low threshold I guess. A dating app needs you to be strong and put yourself out there once and after that you’re automatically presenting yourself to possible partners indefinitely. And you can do it from home. Less work, less anxiety, basically no effect when getting rejected because you don’t even know.

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18 points

Nothing brings you back down to earth quite like dating apps.

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10 points

Thousands of potential matches took one look and realized you were too amazing for them to have a chance, decided they’d rather swipe left than be swiped left on, or see the disappointment in your eyes when you met.

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9 points

Pretty much all of the dating apps are owned by the same company and they’re all a scam. They want your to pay to subscribe and then pay to boost your account or they’re otherwise practically useless.

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