The year is 2050 and the United States is embroiled in a civil war between a federal government coopted by a bunch of Chinese boomers who think meditating super hard will make them fly; the Mormons, who have decided to bring back the “blood oathe against the American government” thing; and Scientologists.

to be fair newspaper subscribers are probably 90% people over 50. but yes, it is bleak how that Falun Gong propaganda rag has hypnotized the geriatrics.

Their ads in Sweden are currently claiming that they’re a refuge from ‘activist journalism’. Which is hilarious.

the fourth most subscribed newspaper

Like bragging about being the fourth tallest pygmy. Nevermind the fact that subscriptions are free as in beer. Just another glorified political mailer that you get whether you want it or not.

It’s 4th? Fucking hell