What’s the going rate on a horse and buggy these days?
A large chimp will actually produce something closer to one horsepower than those stupid overclocked horses.
Also, they’ll rip your face off, so win-win
At one point I knew of some old order Amish who might sell you one with cocaine in the back. (They didn’t entirely adhere to traditions.)
Maybe cocaine in a horse buggy is basically the equivalent of a Nitrous Oxide system in a car with an ICE engine.