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339 points
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If someone dumps me on a first date over my phone then so be it. It actually looks like dodging a bullet.

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114 points

I’d dump you for not knowing the difference between then and than.

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31 points

SpaceNoodle is the real killer here

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18 points

On a serious note, Aziz Ansari (Tom Haverford from Parks and Rec) has a pretty good book called Modern Romance that’s worth a read. When he does standup, he’ll have a volunteer from the audience swipe though their Tinder (or Bumble or whatever) matches. The amount of trivial stuff that people dismiss potential partners for is absolutely amazing. People will be like “they’re a Bears fan, swipe left.”

So people could be compatible on 999/1000 different levels, but our methods of online dating almost allow too much choice, because people feel like they should hold out to find someone who matches 1000/1000.

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11 points

Joke’s on you, that’s basically my only criterion.

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5 points

I’m sorry, that’s actually a mistake, fixed it

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5 points

It’s too late, I already dumped you

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1 point

I would love to say “use whatever you like”, but these Apple sycophants are ridiculous. They literally judge people because of the color of a text bubble! It’s like saying “both US political parties are bad”. Like, yeah: one party is flawed, but the other wants to destroy Democracy…

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