Iāve š bee-n fighting for two years now. I have this Ā«Ā jobĀ Ā» that Iāve been stuck with forever now. My inability to enjoy the little things of life is just another indication of my dereliction: hating the bitter man Iām becoming, seeing myself in people I despise, being unable to think, speak, create.
Thereās no future for me here. No way out from my work. No time to dedicate to what I love. I read the introduction of Camusā Ā«Ā Lāhomme RĆ©voltĆ©Ā Ā» about absurdism in other to be something else than a consuming shitty human, and I donāt agree with most of the moral dilemmas: killing yourself is not the same as killing another person. Iām making a choice for myself and maybe, one of the limits of this argument is that Iām imposing my absence on othersā¦
But who might miss me? My family & friends? Itās true, there are the ones that made me stay this long, but nothing is changing, and I need to help myself.
ą²„_ą²„, maybe see you tomorrow ?
I have been in the same boat. I have no friends, but a wife and kid. Life sucks a big one, especially work and the work-life balance, and finances, etc.
The only thing that helps me is medicine. Iām on a cocktail of Dextroamphetamine for ADD, Lamotrigine for Bipolar Disorder, and Propranolol for anxiety. Iām still far from 100%, but Iām in the more positive side of the fence.
Talking about problems can help a lot of people, and thatās great to have a therapist, but it doesnāt work for me. Talking about stuff doesnāt change my circumstances, neither does my mindset. Definitely discuss issues with a doctor and medicate. Nothing else has helped me deal with the shit in life.
