Last week was rough. I had to bring a friend to the emergency department because they had stopped all of their psych meds cold turkey, and their psychiatrist had just put them on a benzo about a month ago. They’re doing okay now, but they were struggling with walking, talking, eating and drinking on the day I brought them to the ED. If you’re on any benzos, please please please never stop them cold turkey, you can quite literally die from doing that. Speak with your physician about a taper plan.

The following day I was supposed to have a rather minor procedure to implant a nerve stimulator in my dorsal scapular nerve. A few months back I had this placed. There were issues with that surgery - it was supposed to take 30 minutes but took 2.5 hours, and ultimately they had to remove it because it got infected. When I came in to get it removed, the charge nurse messed up their first IV placement and put the needle through the median nerve in my hand which still hasn’t fully healed. It was a huge hassle to get this surgery scheduled because they recommended that I get the next placement done by the doc who’s done the most of this particular procedure.

The surgery was delayed about an hour because there were a bunch of accidents that day and it was already a late appointment where they advised me to stop liquids rather early in the day. Unsurprisingly I was quite dehydrated. The charge nurse here knew what he was doing and set the IV no problem in like 5 seconds flat. Unfortunately, however, they blew the IV nearly as soon as they transferred me to the operating table because they were far too aggressive when tucking that arm for surgery. They spent the next hour failing to place an IV about 7 times including using the vein finder and attempting ultrasound placement. Eventually they managed to get one in near the elbow on the arm they were going to need to tuck for surgery (in my opinion not an ideal placement) which also blew immediately upon repositioning my arm. At that point the surgeon who sounded frustrated asked me if I was okay rescheduling the procedure, and because I didn’t want a frustrated and exhausted surgeon operating on me I agreed. I don’t have a new date, but we are now 4 months out from the initial surgery and 3 trips to the operating room and I still don’t have a nerve stimulator 😩

It’s monday

I’ve finally listened to myself and managed to set clear boundaries with my client. Today is my first real actual day off in months. Like wtf.

It feels totally off and it’s hard not to be vigilant, as if something could go wrong any moment and needs my immediate attention. When I wake up the first thought in my head is some math problem for my client.

However I’m real proud of the step I took and I know in the long run it’s going to be good for me :]

Two consecutive 4-day work weeks for people in BC, Canada. Our Thanksgiving is next week, very much looking forward to it.

One of my online friends passed away earlier this year, and I just found out about it. One of her friends telegram-ed me about the news. She was a Russian who’s outspoken about the war, and also seems to be struggling against depression. I have no idea how she passed, and I can’t bear to ask.

Apparently I’m one of the people who communicated with her in the last few months of her life. I’m bad at words, so I try to send funny animal videos, and occasional hug emoji to make people feel better. I hope whatever I did could alleviate some of her sorrows in her final moments.