I think it’s fair to point out that there is a trend where men will do this to women in situations where they would never do it to another man. The way people use the term annoys me more often than not but I still think it’s a valid concept.
You want to be treated like a man (if you are a girl)?
I don’t understand why people are surprised there are gender differences. It’s supposed to be. And we are supposed to react to eachother, be different to eachother. It’s natural biologically and physically and this is completely obvious.
You think women don’t explain to men how something works a million times a day? I hear it so often I can’t even count. It’s perfectly natural.
When you’re sitting in on a condescending lecture, how do you know that the person giving it wouldn’t be just as condescending towards a man as well though? I feel like there are two answers here:
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You don’t, and they could just be generally condescending.
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This is a trend with this man towards women, and in my opinion in the term “mansplaining” isn’t harsh enough. Call them what they are, misogynistic assholes.
You underestimate my need of superiority, every one will deserve my explanation, men, women, children, fish, cat and dog, and the explanation of my explanation and it’s prequel and sequel. Yep, I have adhd.
It is a very real thing and it happens at every level of organization. Talk to pretty much any woman engineer or manager and you’ll be able to get very many stories of men explaining the woman’s area of expertise to them. I’ve seen it happening everywhere from office stand up meetings to academic conferences where people have specializations as narrow as evolutionary models of pro-social behaviors in apes.
Yes, many of us are enthusiastic about our areas of expertise. I can go on for paragraphs about the evolution of sociality. That’s a completely different thing than trying to explain what misogyny actually means when talking to a person with a PhD in Women’s Studies.
A co-worker once explained to an attractive lady who ran a cake shop how to make cheese cake. In great detail.
He’d just eaten a piece of excellent cheese cake that she’d made.
I have some knowledge in a specialized area of manufacturing products, for ease we will call this “machining” but I do reference something specific for this post (more specific than the typical “general” usage of the word.“machining.”)
People who do not work in my industry constantly tell me how to do my job, incorrectly I might add. I also happen to be a cis male. I’m not convinced this is a gender specific thing, I’m very certain of mine, and “mansplaining” as described by you happens to me, when supposedly it should not due to my gender.
So I suppose I ask, does it go from simply “confidently incorrect” to “sexist asshole” simply because the person was talking to a woman? Is it then misandrist when the explainer is a woman and the explainee is a male? “Confidently incorrect” can then only be accurately applied if both parties identify as the same gender, otherwise it is [gendered prefix]-splaining?
Agreed. I tend not to shut the hell up when you get me rolling on certain topics - it’s not a dig at the people I’m talking to, that’s just how getting excited do.
Now a days I just preface it with “feel free to shut me up” and if that disclaimer doesn’t do the trick, it’s on the other party. :P
I get the joke and I know this is gonna be a buzzkill but - is it expected that from now until the end of the universe there’ll be no ad with a man explaining something to a woman/women because of some sexist assholes in the past?
I had the same thought and hesitated before posting this, but the facial expressions on the women really made the image and I couldn’t help myself. Especially the woman on the right with blue sleeves.
Yeah, yeah, I didn’t mean to insult you or your post, I just had this thought about mansplaining in general.
And it’s true the picture is kind of … extreme from certain point of view :) I mean regardles of one’s opinion on mansplaining, but if ‘mansplaining’ as a term should have a picture … then this is a very good candidate :)
Reminds me of RGB’s answer to “When will there be enough women on the Supreme Court?”
Her answer was “When there are nine”. We’re a long way away from being able to have 9 women on the court without that being some controversial, remarkable thing. We’re not nearly as far away from 9 men on the court being uncontroversial and unremarkable.
It won’t be until the end of the universe. It’ll be until the stereotype stops ringing true. Which we are a very, very long way away from. Be real dude, it is not in the past even a little.
I mean as long as you don’t make an ad where it’s one man explaining to a group of only women who all look kind of annoyed, you’re probably going to be fine.
As a cis male, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut irl.
I’m sure many see it as a “good, let someone else talk for once” thing meant to make me check my privilege, but I mostly see it as pressure taken off me.
Have at it, I’ll do as instructed, even when I’m aware the instructions won’t address the issue, or will be counterproductive. Externally, I am but a perpetual learner/observer in the game of life. You’d have to put a gun to my head to get me to agree to lead anyone or anything, or even offer what I think about anything, and I’ll usually just claim not to have an opinion if singled out. Win/Win.
I can’t stand doing stuff that I know is fruitless. I’ve flat out refused to perform tasks that don’t make any sense at work, and I usually get a thank you for it when someone eventually figures out why I was opposed to it in the first place.
I’ll do busy work all day. Doesn’t bother me one bit as long as I’m getting paid. I don’t believe in the values or motives of capitalism or endless profit made by workers being handed to owners is in any way a noble pursuit, so I consider the act of going to work to have no point beyond getting enough to eat under a roof. I’m in IT, but if a supervisor brings a barrel of marbles and wants me to count them, you got it boss.
Our system of greed just isn’t meaningful to me. I can’t believe in it, I wish I didn’t have to associate myself with it, but I do get hungry, so that is the extent of my interest in participation. Enough to do menial tasks while I silently judge my employer’s gluttony, obvious dishonesty, and sociopathy until its time to go home. Murica.
Interesting perspective. I’ve always taken pride in doing a job well. Doesn’t matter if I’m digging ditches, or building websites. That ditch is going to be the best ditch I can dig, and that website will be the best code I can write. So when I’m asked to do something that’s counterproductive to our overall goal, I oppose the request. I know my job makes someone else more money than it does me, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to do my best while I’m there.
If someone brings you a barrel of marble to count it, you switch your job, because there are other companies, who’ll pay you for reasonable work. Don’t degrade yourself to the level of a bootlicker. Other than that I agree to let things work out how your boss told you, unless he/she makes a serious attempt at respecting you and your work and earned the truth. At least for me, boring work isn’t good for my mental health, as my mind wants to be used for something. You got to have some self respect.
Mansplaining is sexist for condescension.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Edit: Misandrists love a double standard.
A condescension in which men have traditionally excelled, hence its association with men.
I think you may need some more experience with women. :)
Really, all this gender bickering is so infantile. We are mostly the same, but have different strengths and weaknesses. Guys are better at some things, worse at others, in general.
Women are not some flawless creature ok? You will see with time if you haven’t. :) Only in teenage Hollywood movies are they there as some form of meaning of life, and I guess it feels like that at that age.
Huh? I just meant that men have a tendency to explain things rather patronizingly and longwindedly to women. I said nothing about women being perfect.
And of course not all men all the time etc. But it happens.
I’ve been told I mansplain things because I’ll ask someone if they understand something and then explain it anyways.
What they don’t realize is the amount of times I’ve asked someone if they understood something, have them say yes, then explain it, and they had no idea what I was talking about.
I’m not doing it to be condescending. I’m doing it so I know you actually understand what I’m saying.
I’m also autistic so it’s probably just that but it’s infuriating either way.
I find it gets a lot simpler, stupid people are adverse to being told anything by anyone who knows more.
I’ve never once felt condescended to just because someone was explaining something I understand, I feel vindicated that someone agrees with me and knows what I know so we share common grounds for communication.
The problem is people conflating actual condescension with explanation.
That was an explanation, if you still don’t understand I’ll grab some crayons and we can find out your favourite flavour.
That was condescension.
If anyone still needs help understanding I’m happy to take questions. Those behaving in good faith will be explained to, those choosing to be belligerent will be condescended to.
And those that think you can fight misogyny with misandry, well you need some more books in your kitchen.
That’s a joke.
Have you thought about just letting people fail, even if they say they understand and you know full well that they don’t? Failing is an important learning experience that often leads to a more positive learning outcome.
I had a tendency to do exactly as you described when I first started working in academic/corporate settings but someone else pointed this same thing out to me and it’s honestly been a gift that keeps on giving.
Better than a masters in chick squabbling
