things have settled down considerably since last week; got to see the eclipse the other day which was cool
I’ve been back home for two days. I stayed near the hospital for a few but there’s really no comfort like home. 1 week post-op will be tomorrow. Now I get to work on my leave paperwork with this shitty 3rd party company we pay to manage work leave, hooray.
i had my two-month follow up about my brain pills (atomoxetine). they’re working, i think! most of the bad side effects are gone. my provider okayed me for a 90-day supply, and then we’ll check in again. yay for medications that work, and i’m glad i stuck it out for the first few rough weeks.
chuck (foster dog) was supposed to have his stitches out last wednesday, but they weren’t quite ready, so we go back again this wednesday. on thursday he’s coming to the office with me in the morning, then going to his potential adopter’s home for a visit. fingers crossed it goes well! he deserves a good, loving home.
cone of shame tax:
Welcome to Atomoxetine! I remember starting them and gaining the inexplicable ability to predict what time it is before checking my phone. I’m glad some of the non-stimulant medications helps. Just remember to stick with both your psychiatrist AND your therapist. You will gain new capabilities that bring you closer to neurotypical, meaning new thinking techniques like scheduling and habits may become easier. If you think your medication is starting to stop working, therapy was the solution for me.
i have a lot of various methods for managing my habits and work stuff, but the brian pills make it so much easier for me to actually remember to look at the systems i’ve put in place and do them rather than spend so much time making and modifying the systems themselves. oh! and i don’t get intense hyperfixations at all anymore! i can break away from things i’m interested in which is just. wow. neat!
You better believe it. It’s a non-stimulant, meaning you won’t get any instant focus changes like the TV might dramatize. Nah, this stuff takes multiple weeks to start to kick in, meanwhile you get all the standard medication side effects. However, it’s a subtle but distinct difference when you finally have the agency to say “no, I don’t want to watch youtube anymore, I’m going to sleep”. And then you go to sleep. And then you get distracted for maybe 6 minutes but THEN you go to sleep. Only six minutes! I don’t even remember how I felt before, but that’s the thing. It feels more normal than abnormal, it’s a lifestyle changer.
Psychiatrists. They know not to give me stimulants after I didn’t sleep for 3 days on Adderall. Thanks science for having alternatives.
My daughter is 6 weeks old today so I’m a happy papa.
Draaaaaaaiiined the fuck out. Too much shit in one week. For most people, it wouldn’t be a lot, but I have significant fatigue issues and it’s just been too much.
Need to just have some calm and take this week to recover what little energy I can usually muster up. So a major break it is. Keep things light for a while.
Otherwise, generally fine… ish.
I JUST learned what “self care” actually is. So, I have ADHD and anxiety and probably depression, so I have had medications for all three. Notably my anxiety medication almost immediately removed my social anxiety, etc. But I still felt listless, not knowing what to do with myself, letting my apartment get unacceptably dirty. I get a new therapist and he’s got a specialization in “Men’s Issues”, right? And so he listens to my plight and he says “you care about everyone else, why not focus on doing things for yourself?” He specifies that it’s not selfish to do things for yourself, and WOW. I look at my desk, I’m unsatisfied? Cleaned, wiped away. Dirty dishes? Get em outta of the sink and onto the drying rack? Making my bed because I think it looks nicer. I’m amplifying my dissatisfaction into action. It’s awesome.
And the best part? He’s using Men’s Issues techniques and he NEVER mentions it as self care. He knows I’m a smart guy, and (stereotypical) guys don’t like these “mental health” buzzwords peppering women’s magazines. He simply says: “Do things for yourself because YOU want them.” THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY WITH MEDICATIONS! You can’t use your newly modified brain perfectly, you need help. And the right therapist can change everything.
