88 points

Ever seen that scene from Liar, Liar where Jim Carey objects, and says “Because it’s devastating to my case!”?

This is that scene, but actually being attempted in a real courtroom. This has got to be the most desperate thing I have ever seen.

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20 points

Strongly desperate.

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9 points

Bigly even

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8 points

Maybe they’ll find him in the restroom saying, “I’m kicking my ass!”

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7 points

That was Don Jr.

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75 points

Arguing for rights of an individual running for president (as it is not defined at all to my knowledge) is an interesting strategy and does seem like something worth defining. By that I mean for it to be defined that if you’re running for president, you have no additional rights. Get out of here. You’re just another citizen. Quit making the “i’m special” legal challenge. Get bent.

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41 points

If he’s successful here, I’m declaring my candidacy for President as a Republican. Since Republican candidates for President apparently can’t be prosecuted, I figure I’ve got an 18 month crime spree ahead of me…

Be back soon…

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12 points

Then declare again right after the election to renew your immunity for 4 more years.

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6 points

But I think this is the appropriate response via civil disobedience. Go through the proper channels to declare as a presidential candidate and then do fairly mild shit to prove a point, en masse. Speeding tickets, jay walking, etc.

They’re left with two options: limit who can run, which is antithetical to the whole fucking system and founding principles… Or ensure that they don’t have special rights… Or permit anarchy.

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4 points
*

If he’s successful here, I’m declaring my candidacy for President as a Republican. Since Republican candidates for President apparently can’t be prosecuted, I figure I’ve got an 18 month crime spree ahead of me…

You, me and every other person that can’t bring themselves to be actual prosperity televangelists, I mean we have SOME morals eh?

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3 points

Yeah that’s the thing, anybody can claim to be running for president. It’s 2023, there’s no general election for mort than a year. Even IF you’re on a ballot I think that doesn’t make you above the law… Else we’d suddenly have a bunch of crooks getting on ballots to avoid facing legal repercussions

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29 points

”It is one thing to indict a ham sandwich. To indict the mustard-stained napkin that it once sat on is quite another,” the lawyers wrote.

Devastating legal argument, and beautifully written.

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12 points

It’s one thing to indict a hamberder. To indict the ketchup stained wall it was thrown against is quite another.

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9 points

How does this analogy even help them? Doesn’t the mustard stain put the napkin at the scene of the crime with the ham sandwich?

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3 points

I don’t quite get how this statement applies to their argument? Their argument appears to be that the DA doesn’t have “authority”?

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6 points
*

I couldn’t really figure out what they meant, but apparently it is a reference to a famous statement made by a former Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals, Sol Wachtler, who said a DA could get a Grand Jury to ‘indict a ham sandwich’.

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4 points

The grand jury system is generally a joke. It’s just a smoke screen for prosecutorial discretion. The DA can present whatever they want (and leave out whatever they don’t want) and there’s no due process to the defendant since they haven’t actually been indicted at that point.

That said, I hope every grand jury and regular jury viewing evidence against trump does their individual responsibility and throws the book at him.

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28 points

Did Trump’s lawyer call him a mustard-stained napkin ? 🤣

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25 points

I think I’ll use this thread to announce my candidacy for the presidency of the United States. I hereby declare that I am now immune to all prosecution until after the election. Donations will be accepted in cash or gold bullion.

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5 points

Silly, they’ve moved on from cash and hard currency. It’s all about the NFT churn mill now.

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1 point

I’ll be releasing my own “illegal things I’ve done” NFR (Not For Release) so they’re even RARER than NFTs soon.

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-10 points

Do you accept Robux?

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5 points
*

How many Schrute Bucks are they worth?

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-16 points

bout’ tree fiddy

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