This is entirely up to you and your internal set of ethics and obligation.

You didn’t mention if your Uncle is irresponsible or wasteful with money. For myself I think this would be the key to my sense of obligation.

If your Uncle is frugal and very careful with money, but needs more for basic quality of life for your nieces and nephews, then I would think its appropriate and fine to help out to some % of your disposable income, maybe 3% or 5%. Think of it like family based charity.

On the other hand if your Uncle is wasting money extravagantly, then there is no point in helping, because it will be - at best - wasted, and encourages the Uncle to continue wasting as much money as possible to always be in need to maximize the donations.

But this is entirely up to you, if you don’t want to pitch in, you don’t have to! However, it does set the tone for family expectations if you need help in the future.

I’m guessing here but I think you are asking this question in a cultural space that is pretty far removed from your own.

From a super individualistic Western perspective everyone seems to be saying fuck no, cut off the rot, look after yourself.

In many other cultures, the family unit remains extremely strong throughout life and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts.

I watched some Vietnamese school friends of mine go from fresh off the boat with nothing, to owning half of the businesses in their town as well as MASSIVE generational wealth that will never go away.

They spread like a beautiful, productive fungus across their suburb by working together. First they all lived in one house, some worked, some started businesses. ALL of the money coming in paid off that house quickly, then they had two houses. Repeat the same again. Now they have 3 houses, all paid for. Now some money goes in to private schools for all the kids, university for all the kids. Now the kids are culturally obligated to contribute to the scheme with their high paying jobs as doctors and pharmacists.

The Vietnamese bakery in the small set of local shops has now bought out the butcher and the video store, the video store has become a pharmacy owned by the first two graduated children, then they bought the grocery store and the nail salon. Then they bought more profitable businesses in town: drive-through liquor stores and tobacconists.

We’re already talking millions of dollars per year of income. 3 houses has become 13 houses. Each Vietnamese family unit now has a house of their own and they are all paid for. The rest are rental income to add to the stack. They financially support their local temple, and they pay to bring more and more family members over who rapidly become productive members of the scheme.

At this point, they are unstoppable and it’s all because they were prepared to work together and endure that short term pain of overcrowded shared dwellings and give 100% of their income to the cause. Now they will all live comfortable lives together and have a myriad of passive income streams. The old people are taken care of, those who fall on hard times are taken care of.

I guess what I am saying is, on the surface it seems extremely unfair - but it sounds like you are part of a cultural support system that would absolutely catch you if you fall.

Further still, you are not being charged any rent or living expenses. Being able to save 50% of your income is not normal for 99% of people so you are already feeling the benefit of that safety net.

If you don’t feel like it’s for you and you want to get out of it I say that’s fine, you’re not bound to anyone. But if that is how you feel then you should immediately move out and truly go it alone.

I’d just warn you that many Westerners see the wisdom in the system you seem to have and wish that their own family unit could be so strong and cohesive. We really can accomplish a lot more together than we can as individuals.

You are under ZERO obligation.

Ideally, since you have an income and still live with your parents, it would be good of you to contribute to household costs, water, garbage, electricity, internet, rent, fuel, groceries, that sort of thing.

Things you consume. You aren’t obligated to, but it would be good to contribute.

Anything else? Deadbeat Uncle? Nope! Hard nope! I’d move out first.

This kind of question is what AmITheAsshole is for. So far our Lemmyverse AITA is all bot-mirrored content from Reddit. You ought to cross-post this question over there.

Short answer, no, you’re not married to him.

Even when it would have been your brother, then still no, legally. Morally, maybe, when you know it will help him recover, not stay in trouble longer. (So I can understand your mother, a tad)

I’d try to talk to your parents about it, how can you help your uncle without dumping cash in a bottemless pit, as doing so did prove not to solve the issue. (Else your mother wouldn’t have to bail him out on a yearly base)

When you all see no way out, you could try to at least help his kids, support them with stuff they need, help them develop, eat, repair or replace goods, but no cash. Big chance cash would end up at your uncle anyway.

It’s tough, but you’re only obliged to help your partner when married and your kids when under age, or do the best you can for direct family (parents, brother/sister or your own kids when legally independant), but within reasonable limits.

Help primarily your mother in this situation, she is your father’s (primairy) and your (secondary) responsability, your uncle isn’t.