11 points

I say shit like that ironically.

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5 points
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If someone the day after a tako-night, says: “Man! I’ve nuked the bathroom this morning.” That doesn’t mean that he actually have nuclear weapons in his house.

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10 points

the bathroom is actually glowing, visible down the hall

“though maybe we should believe him, just this once”

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3 points

…you can’t prove nothing

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4 points

God and Jesus are interwoven into my expressions.

God fucking damnit
Jesus Fucking Christ

I lose no sleep over it

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1 point

I’ve heard a Christian use the word “Wednesday”.

I once saw a Buddhist monk using an ATM.

But I’ve never heard an atheist thank god for their atheism.

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