I found a kickass stick 4 years ago in the Smokies the weekend my wife and I got married. It’s literally the perfect stick. Straight, smooth, nice thickness, durable as hell. Must be of a rare hardwood variety, I would imagine. I still have that stick in the corner and I see it everyday when I’m sitting at my PC. Have I ever used it for anything? I wouldn’t dare. It’s too nice of a stick to just use on a whim. Why do I keep it around? Well, if I ever had a problem that required a really nice fuckin stick, I’m covered. Every year or so, my wife says to me, “JPSound, you still have that stick?! Why do you keep that thing around?” I look that woman dead in the eyes and say, “there will come a day, my bride, when the creator of all shall lay before us an obstacle, nay, a challenge that only a mighty stick of such grandeur may aid us in such a lofty trial. And this stick, my dearest, this stick awaits our call to guide us into the sunkissed valley of victory so sweet. Only then shall you see what I see. Know what I know now, that this mear stick, is far more than it seems. Then you will know, I am the mighty protector of this home and family. You will see, my love. You will see.” Then she usually just rolls her eyes and says, “whatever… I gotta run to the grocery store. Do you need anything special?” And I respond with a mighty boom, “yeah, that fancy chocolate milk I like, please.”
I may never get another chance to share this with the world, so may I present to you…
That’s a pretty fantastic stick.
I read your whole comment and I was skeptical. But you’re totally right about everything.
Memories of the wedding that weekend? Spotty at best.
Memories of finding that stick? Near photographic.
I found a good stick once. Damn, that was a nice stick.
I used a perfect stick once. I was backpacking in the high Sierra’s and found the perfect walking stick. I carried it the entire trip, used it to poke at fires, kept my balance with it over difficult terrain, and imagined it would be a formidable weapon should we encounter a bear. When we finished the trip I decided to bestow my perfect stick upon the next fortuitous hiker to pass the trailhead. I carved my name and the date into the middle of the stick and left it leaning against the trailhead. I have thought about that stick many times since that trip. I was a fool to leave it there. Never again have I found such a perfect stick. After many disappointing treks into the wilderness I finally gave up seeking that stick’s equal and instead purchased trekking poles. Wherever you are stick, I miss you.
No, lots of girls and women like sticks too. This lady is just a weirdo for not liking them.
Maybe she’s a pebble or plant person? I think it’s like being a cat person, dog person or pet person. Some people like sticks, some people like rocks, some people just like grabbing anything from nature that’s cool enough for its catagory.
I’m a pinecone woman. They taught us to make biodegradable bird feeders with pinecones, peanutbutter, and birdseeds way back in preschool and I’ve been hooked ever since.
Acorns are cool too.
Yes! My Grandpa used to live out near a pine timber farm and because the pine cones can mess up the harvest rows if they start to germinate, the owners happily let us on the property to walk around and collect cones.
Grandpa just used them as firestarters and kindling, they smell great and they go up a little less violently than gum. We’d take a laundry basket with us on a walk and my brother and I would run around filling it up.
Now when I’m hiking, seeing pine cones on the ground reminds me of winter at grandpa’s house. But I don’t have a use for them (I’ve gotten in trouble for attracting too many birds to my unit) so I make a rule to only collect the “baby cones” that is can display next to my sea glass and compost after a while when my shelf fills up - glass is the other thing I’m always collecting when I go for walks. I love sea glass because of Mermaid Princess by Shirley Barber.
Horse-chestnut! What’s better than having a horse chestnut in your jackets pocket?
Is a horse chestnut the same as a conker? I feel like I haven’t seen a good conker since I was a kid!
Of all the toys my daughter could play with, she loves swords, bats, brooms, or cool sticks found outside the best.
“Who would win in a fight? An army guy or a stick?”
“That’s stupid. The army guy would just break the stick in half.”
“Ah, but now there are two sticks. Stick win every time.”
https://i.imgur.com/9A3moG6.jpeg - Meme where I remember it from.
Also I’m approaching 40 years old. I still keep every great stick I find. Some find their way into the fire pit. Others are still used as walking sticks and fire pokers. Some shaved down nice and smooth. Others still with their bark.
My frontyard maples gave me a great staff two years ago? If I were a wizard that’d be a huge gift. No treesinging needed.
Woman here, this is my prized stick. I found it maybe 15 years ago I think? I was camping on the Oregon coast, the absolute straightness of it stood out from a mile away. Brought it home, cut the ends off to be flat, and hand-smoothed the handle. For a long time I used it for killing spiders (it was perfect for that they never got away) but it has since retired now that I’m less scared of being poisoned and just catch/release them. One day when I’m decomposing I hope for this to be doing the same by my side.