I have incurable cancer (multiple myeloma), I’ll be surprised if I make it that far.
How long since your diagnosis? I have a friend who made it decades using multiple transplants. I’m a cancer survivor myself. Rooting for you. Don’t be afraid to be happy or goofy still :) You already lived your whole life before cancer getting one day closer to death each day anyway!
Most likely fighting in a civil war against Christofascists.
Probably gonna get downvoted to hell by doomers, but you said filters off.
5 years from now I hope to be in my mid 30s, financially independent and traveling the world on a shoestring budget. I’m very close as it is. I’ve both been very lucky & worked very hard to set myself up for this, and I’m hoping that once I get there, I can reclaim some of the typical 20-something experiences I missed out on while I was grinding long hours at work.
FWIW, I’ve been traveling more or less full time doing the digital nomad thing since 2017… You can keep working and live like a king factoring in cost of living and tax exemptions. I promise you’ll still see plenty of the world… You don’t need to quit.
I appreciate that you mention it. I did the same at the start of my career for a year but I made the choice early on to chase the money and be done with employment sooner instead.
Hard to say if I made the right choice but at this point I’ll be out of the suffer-fest in the next 1-2 years so I might as well see it through.
Ideally not in Florida anymore
Realistically, probably still in Florida
I’m originally from Jersey but I got out of Florida after living there for a good long time. Was not prepared for fire ants, yellow flies, red tide, being pursued by an alligator…
The heat, humidity, and stagnating seasons really got to me… I desperately wanted it to feel like there were 4 seasons instead of 2, and I missed changing leaves and snow.
I still have most my family down there, but I had to escape…
You never know. If we start fucking up any worse Floida might be under water by then. Always gotta look on the bright side.
Finances until just recently. Now I’m timing a move since I just recently got a WFH job so I’m quite excited! We’re trying to travel and see where we would actually like to live. Part of it now is that we’ve developed some amazing friendships that would be incredibly hard to leave behind.
Would never be this dark or honest normally but
Alone and afraid. No friends. No family. No hope. Just existing and barely even doing that. Waking up everyday and wondering why I’m even bothering to do it. Looking for any excuse to distract myself from reality. Probably post random stuff online and look for more stuff to post. Try and entertain people so I don’t feel as worthless to society as I kind of am. Hating myself, every single shred of who I am, but not having any drive to change it. Wanting to die but being too cowardly to do anything to make it happen. Just waiting for things to finally stop and be over and to have a shred of peace. To not hear that inner voice saying how I don’t belong. To not hope for some horrific accident that not just kills me but makes me known to someone rather than forgotten.
Pretty sure about that. Mainly because it’s where I am now.
Now time for me to sleep, wake up, try not to cry, and then post memes all over again.
My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
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ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
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reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good “cold turkey” break would be a cruise or something.
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obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
I’m on a waitlist for professional help. That’s not as easy to access as I’d like it to be, at least not here in the GTA. Religion I will be staying pretty clear from because honestly people using religion to hate me is one of the reasons I’m in this position in the first place. I’ve got no issue with religious folks, and plenty of religious friends, but I avoid the religion itself. Just not good memories in anyway as a gay dude with a sprinkling of autism who happens to be from a rural area.
As for the other advice:
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I don’t trust ChatGPT at all. There have been other instances of people using chatbots to try and help with mental health and it has recommended some terrifying options. One support line decided to replace their phone answering employees with a chatbot. That bot started recommending dieting to people with eating disorders. That’s just the first example that comes off my mind.
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If I could take a cruise, I would without a single hesitation. However I just had a vet bill for a cat that ended up being perfectly fine. That wiped out all of my savings and is going to mess up my budget for a couple months. Not to mention the fact that the amount of money I had saved took months and was a pitiful amount. I legitimately wouldn’t have been able to go up the CN Tower and have a dinner at the restaurant, nevermind get a cruise. Social media is also my only connection to society in general. Social media isn’t super healthy which is why I already limit myself pretty well. The only social media I’m active on is Lemmy and, to a lesser extent, Mastodon. In both I stick mostly in meme/funny communities and keep everything light. That or just focus on Star Trek. I only really drop into news communities once every day or two just to see what’s going on there, I don’t engage much.
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I don’t really want to go into it but I have a hard time trusting people physically.
Honestly it’s fine. Been like this for years. I’ve tried a bunch of different things, talked to different people, tried different environments and it’s none of those. It’s me. I’ve just sort of accepted that I’m not going to be happy. That’s fine. Not everyone gets to be.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for “what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness”. It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who “is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours”. Then pick the ones that you haven’t tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.
Good luck!
Oh Stamets, your post made me so sad and then I saw your username and realised who you were and I just had to comment because you are literally my most favourite person on Lemmy.
The content you post on Risa is the sole reason I’m here. I love your trek memes and the awesome community they are generating over there. Please know you are making an impact.
I mainly lurk, but I feel like I know you just from reading your interactions and you are an amazing person. Please keep being you.
I appreciate it 💙 It is indeed why I do what I do. Might as well inject some happiness into the world somehow.
Also, join into the comments more over on Risa! We’re all pretty chill and if anyone gives you shit just summon me, Picard, Xusontha, NegativeNelly, WarmSoda, USSBurritoTruck or any of the other epicly awesome people who are over there.
