I’m lucky enough to have stuck with the same employer for almost a decade. Reading the non-insane fragments of resume made my skin crawl. I hate it. I hate everything about how self-aggrandizing you have to be, I hate the phraseology, everything about this is antethical to the way humans communicate. Also this MF listed “avid skier” as if a hiring manager would give a fuck lmao
Surprisingly ChatGPT is great at making a resume sound better if you give it specific commands. It’s great at the corporate speak and self-aggrandizing shit that I cringe too hard to properly write.
Oh absolutely! My girlfriend and some friends have done that. It’s awesome at generating corpo-speak. And of course the hiring manager will feed all of the AI generated resumes into an AI which will scan them to determine the best candidates. We will achieve AI to AI communication, and everything will be utterly distinct from the actual needs of the position. It will be pure HR lingo, iterating on itself forever
Actually this can be very good. The AI-AI step cancels the corpo-speak. The candidate just sends bullet points with actual data and the AI decides what to do. Nobody ever sees those inflated CVs.
listed “avid skier” as if a hiring manager would give a fuck lmao
we once hired a Frenchman whose resume read:
PERSONAL
Sport (Basketball for 10 years), Reading (mainly French literature), Piano (started to impress a girl, now I’m pretty good)
Men will literally put their sperm count on their resume rather than go to therapy.
I only hire breedable pedigree legacies and their nepo-kin.
shit, i’m getting hung up on the
- Designed a model to optimize classroom scheduling for an education operator with 42 [obscured] utilization by 10%
is he really bragging about how to fit 42 students in a classroom? or is it worse, somehow?
‘Professional educator’ isn’t really a problem, although it’s just a longer businessified ‘professor’ or ’ teacher’
But ‘educational operator’ is another one of those signifiers of the breakdown of the world into ‘consultants’, ‘managers’, ‘engineers’ and ‘operators’. Where consultants give ideas to managers for engineers to design which are then used by operators. Which creates a hell of a lot of distinctions where there is generally more overlap.
Hell, saying they worked on ‘improvement of communication technologies for teaching’ is better because it is more distinct and less technocratic.
technically, or at least historically, a “professional” has received accreditation / license from a body developed by and for those belonging to a profession, which typically has requirements of “continuing education” to maintain that license as well as some other rules and duties that, if broken, can result in the revoking of the license. doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers etc.
this resume reads like some douche with an MBA from wherever the fuck, which is basically some accounting classes and some ideological priming before being sent out to work at Kinsey or for someone’s dad, where they never have to take a test ever again and are subject to nothing.
that sounds about right, yeah. I mean even when I was in school it was edging up into the 30s, at a pretty decent school.
But the bit about utilization and scheduling makes me think it’s also probably about scheduling things so that they can hot-desk all the teachers around and decrease their prep time by 10% (aka “increasing utilization” because these ghouls think teachers are only doing anything when they’re physically in front of children). Or it could be something about the hot-desk arrangement where they’re increasing the utilization of the available classrooms by 10%.
I don’t think the next letter is “s” (I think it’s a small letter with a straight line on the left side like m, n, p, or r), so it isn’t “42 students,” and I think an “education operator” is probably a company that runs a private school (or chain of private schools) or something. 42 rooms, maybe?
this is a parody account (not that you can tell these days)
I’d bet money this has actually happened at least once tho. At least something similar has.
