Damn, wasn’t expecting actual OCD.
This sounds like actual OCD, or am I missing a joke you’re making? Or you jus’ sayin’?
Liking to sort things is not OCD, OCD is having to sort things otherwise you can’t function as a human being.
OP is saying, “Stop calling everything OCD because this kinda behavior is the real thing.”
People use OCD to describe being overly organized, anal about cleaning or hyper-focused on a hobby or whatever.
But the internet told me that OCD is just a quirk that makes a person align objects on a table! /s
I had OCD, fortunately mostly gone. I always had to step on every distinct surface no more than five times, or something horrible would happen. The overwhelming sense of dread was not pleasant.
My wife is OCD cleaner, I tell people and they’re like lol mine too… no brah. If she is stressed we have to change the bedsheets daily. Toilets and sinks are cleaned minimum once per day but more like 3 times. Vacuums the house 2 to 3 times, mops the whole fucking house 2 times and then like mops random spots 10 times a day. I do all this shit too on my day off while she is at work because I love her and don’t want her to do it all when she gets home and then if I forget one thing it’s an argument… and she will just redo it all anyways so I didn’t have to actually do it. Hours upon hours are spent cleaning. Sometime she is up in the middle of the night like 1am putting on a load of washing or unpacking the dishwasher
I have a SO like this. 8 Years now, it gets more easy over time, a bit at least. Real OCD is no joke, its like being insane while knowing. One knows on a logical level that it makes no sense to do this repetive actions, but has to do it anyway. Its often not only external stuff like washing hands, rotating objects till “they feel right”…a lot of ODC action are internal. Like saying certein sentences internal for X number of times.
As a Partner that can be frustrating causd you want to help the person u love but there is nothing u can do. You just have to accept it is like it is.
The internal permanent tention can be very exhaustig. Most people can have ‘empty head’ moments where you just chill and think nothing to relex for a moment. When u have strong OCD that dosent exists, every second your head is rotating, doing loops of things in your mind. Even simple things like catching a bus at a certein time can become extreme hard tasks cause you ‘cant just go’ no. U have to do all the internal and external OCD tasks before u can walk out the door.
All u can do as a partner is having patience, lots of it, and understandinf that the pressure to do this OCD tasks is as real to there brains as the need to breathe to us.
I kinda totally understand OCD, because my adhd prevents me from doing certain things and it’s really hard to explain to people. I can do them, i just can’t(?). It’s obviously not as bad as what OP described and your wife goes through. But my question is, what happens if let’s say your wife needs to use the light switch 50 times because… And you just grab her hand and take her away. She left the room without the clickedy clack and the world didn’t end. Does she get like a nervous breakdown or resist? I’ve always wodered but never dared to ask anyone with actual ocd. Most people i know have the funny ocd that they know from monk.
If i interrupt a external OCD task (lightswitch example) then SO compensates by doing more internal tasks, it just shifts to something that is not external and thereby not stopable by anyone.
This all is allready with meds, without meds a ‘normal’ life would not be possible.
On a logical level they understand that the world dosent end if the task isnt finished, but to deeper parts of the Brain it still feels real, and the stress created by the fear of it is real, as real as it gets.
Not the person you replied to, but one of my partners is mildly OCD and has to check all sorts of things before leaving, and she stresses tf out if I don’t let her do her thing on the way out.
Meds help. Without them it would be way more extreme to a degree where it isnt managable by non healthcare professionals.
The only thing that shuts it down 100% are benzodiazepines but those are not a valid long therm solution, and are for emergency situation (heavy panic attacks) only. Benzos are allready very addictive to normal people, now imagen how addictive they are when they allow you do be free from your 24/7 OCD stress.
Does meditation help at all?
For non-OCD folk, it really helps keep the brain from running around in circles. It can de-rail the temporary insanity train.
Can’t speak for OCD, but I have ADHD and can relate to the incessant mental chatter and yes meditation did help. But it’s also extremely difficult and I have never been able to maintain a habit. It comes and goes.
My suggestion is to try other mindful activities, for example I got really into whittling. It’s a hands on activity and you have something to show afterwards, it’s good to lock on your mind/focus.
Like someone else in the thread suggested crochet
I was expecting this to devolve into a joke about getting too many HJs or something
Relatable. I love a girl like this. It’s exhausting and it’s slowly impacted my own sanity, but it’s not her fault. It’s mainly about germs with her. She gets really upset if we don’t wash our hands every 15 minutes or so. But at the same time, she’s afraid of antibiotics.
I mean the incorrect/over use of antibiotics leads to antibiotic resistant germs which are basically super germs. Strangely logical.
Sorry to hear it’s impacting you though. It’s tough when someone you’re with is dealing with mental health issues.
The only reason antibiotic resistant germs are different than regular germs is that antibiotics don’t work on them, which doesn’t matter if you don’t use antibiotics! 😆
Her reasons are more vague and appeal-to-nature-y. But you do raise a good point.
The only reason antibiotic resistant germs are different than regular germs is that antibiotics don’t work on them, which doesn’t matter if you don’t use antibiotics!
What? Where do you think antibiotic-resistant bacteria come from?
Does she understand that being over-hygenic obviously has some negative impacts? Sure it is definitely better at preventing infection, but she’s also reducing her exposure to good microbes which is what we rely on to not form allergies, asthma, and even some diseases.
This article summarises it well, but here’s a topic-specific part.
But not all of our body has to be washed so stringently. Overall obsessive washing “disrupts the normal flora which keep you healthy by competing with harmful organisms”, says Ruebush. “Operating your immune system in an environment of sterility is like a sensory deprivation for the brain. Eventually, it goes insane, thus the increased amount of allergy and autoimmunity associated with persons who try too hard to avoid all exposure to anything in their environment,” she says.
Around the house, the solution for fighting the wrong kind of bacteria is not excessive cleaning, but timely cleaning.
You should at least being making your own stand for your own health and don’t let her ways permanently compromise you down the track.
I don’t know, I don’t wanna sound dismissive of things, but it can probably help in some situations. OP probably knows the situation better and isn’t giving all the details (because it just isn’t relevant). It’s possible their partner actually didn’t know that though and it might help them cut back some.