My brother and I have been best friends for most of our lives. He’s so much fun to hang out with, has a great degree of emotional intelligence, and I’m just so proud of him.
Very distant
We’re both in our 40s now with my sister being 4 yrs younger.
I recently went to a therapy thing that dug up allot of the past. This made me reach out to her to see if it was as bad as I remembered.
Turns out it was way worse with her having a similar journey just before me. We sat in the pub drinking coffee and chatting for 5 hours.
During that conversation we realises thar even to this day our parents were manipulating us to keep is distant.
The worst manipulation was when our kids were young we had a silly argument over you forgot to get my kid a present for a birthday (we hadn’t just not gotten it to a mutual drop off point with it. Usually my dads) pater that yr my youngest landed in hospital forest of the year. Thought she was going tondie levels of terrified.
They manipulate her with that stupid argument to make her terrified to visit. She did phone the hospital for updates but avoided talking to us while my parents made comments to me about her not being interested.
I don’t think we will ever be close but we are in a way better place and now know the shit our parents are pulling to better avoid the traps.
Stay together strong! 💪 You both made a great first step, you will not regret it.
There was no grand falling out or anything. Our paths just diverged as we got older. However I do fins myself wondering how much of that was natural
My sister went full blown right wing “Christian “ Trumper. We barely talk. Haven’t seen each other in years
Nearly my entire family went full-tilt Trump and it blew me away. He was everything I had always been taught not to be and here was my family, that I loved, all head-over-heels for this conman.
I withdrew from the family and stopped talking anything politics with them for years. It’s only been the last year or so that everyone in my family has woken up to what a pathetic girfter Trump is. Everyone except my brother who I don’t talk to anymore. I hope some day he grows up and realizes how many vulnerable people he has to hurt to feel like an “alpha”.
I miss him. He used to be a genuinely sweet person.
I’m the oldest of a big (real big. Crazy big) family.
I don’t get along with all of my siblings, but more in a “we don’t hang out” kinda way, not a “please die in a fire” way.
Our family reunions are the stuff of legend. Days of hanging out; taking turns cooking meals for an army; hours spent swapping stories and just enjoying hanging out together.
My best friend in the world is one of my brothers. I could spend years just hanging out with him. (I mean, we did, growing up, but I’m still not sick of it.)
My siblings and I don’t see eye to eye on everything. We all have gone down different life paths as the years have gone by. Some of us are very liberal and some are very conservative. Some of us live in major cities, others in the heart of the country. Some are atheists and some are devout.
We aren’t perfect. There have been cruel words spoken, tears shed. I’ve broken up fistfights (…and been in a couple myself).
Growing up, my mother taught us how to talk things through. How to start from a fight and finish as friends. She set us an amazing example that I am trying to teach to my own children.
My family is one of the best things in my life. I love my siblings and my parents. I know not everyone gets a happy family. My wife really didn’t. I’m not sharing this to brag. I just want to say that… It’s out there. A family that loves each other and largely gets along is possible. I don’t know if we’re a fluke of nature or a miracle of nurture.
But next year is our family reunion. And I can’t wait.
If that fucker wants a glass of water I might throw some ice cubes at his face, if I like him that day.
But the second he needs a new heart I’ll rip out mine with my own hands if I have to. (Don’t you dare tell him that though, I’ll deny even thinking about it)
