You joke, but some people are actually that dumb.

I used to work in the oilfield, first day on a new rig with a new company. We were swabbing (pulling fluid samples, super laid back work) and had 2 guys on, 2 guys off.

Sitting in the doghouse our driller yells over to the rig asking what time it is, I check the clock and yell back “About twenty to four” dude puts his hands on his hips like Karen would and starts to glare at me. My push leans out the window and yelled “Two Four Zero” blew my fucking mind.

Few days later he was dropping people off and we were at a new site so he changed pick up time to quarter to six. But in his mind that meant 25 minutes before 6, or 5:35. Needless to say he got there and I wasn’t ready, which as a new roughneck on a crew is a cardinal sin.

Got in the truck and we drove about a block and I apologized and said I wasn’t expecting him so soon. Dude pulled over looked over his shoulder at me and said “How quarters in a dollar, retard?”. I replied “Four?” “Wrong twenty five!”

Needless to say that job didn’t last long for me.

When I was a child, I lived in walking distance of my elementary school. One time my mom had to work early so she couldn’t be there to see me off to school. I was old enough to walk by myself at that point, but I relied on her to tell me when to go. Since she wasn’t going to be there, she told me to leave at “quarter after 7” so I could be there on time.

I left at 7:25 because a quarter is 25, right?

I got in trouble for being late to school. Instructions unclear, Mom!

So, half past 9 is 9:50. I’ll be damned.

“how much does a ticket cost?”

“A quarter til 3”

my parents always say it’s “quarter of”. I can’t make it make sense.