121 points
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98 points
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Like sending “In God We Trust” banners written in Arabic to Texas schools. They don’t like getting done unto them as they do unto others.

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26 points

I’m curious about this one. I was amused when it was first done - I think I even donated to the cause, but it’s been awhile and I don’t remember. I don’t know if they ever got any of their signs posted, but I do remember people claiming that the law stated the schools had to post donated signs.

Obviously it’s a great loophole in a stupid law, and should equally cover Hindi, Chinese, or any other scary language. The law, as originally written, did not specify a language.

My question is whether it would similarly apply to a sign in English that read “In Allah we Trust.” Since Allah is literally the Arabic word for “god,” it’s semantically equivalent. If so, the same should hold true for similar words from other languages. You might argue that naming a specific god like Vishnu might not pass muster (although I think an argument could be made), but I think that “In Allah we trust” would be almost as defensible as having the entire text in Arabic.

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35 points

Working in a rather large school district and eventually getting to point where I have somewhat more understanding and information about the inner workings of public ed, I can tell you exactly what a lot of Texas schools decided to do after that law passed and then people started donating signs: we immediately put up any sign that met the requirements and then threw them all away at the end of that same day. We have better things to worry about than trollish legislation and the trolls who troll the trolls. At the end of every single day, our main questions are “did we keep the children safe and the parents informed,” and “is our children learning?”

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8 points

State Rep. Brad Sherman, a Republican, even released a newsletter saying that the principle of church/state separation didn’t apply to this display because the state was inherently Christian. After all, he claimed, the Iowa Constitution refers to a “Supreme Being.”

According to these opening lines of our Constitution, the foundation for laws and continued blessing and success in Iowa is based on these points:

    There is One Supreme God.

    Blessings over this state come from the One Supreme God

    We must depend upon the One Supreme God if we want to enjoy continued blessings.

It is a tortured and twisted interpretation of law that affords Satan, who is universally understood to be the enemy of God, religious expression equal to God in an institution of government that depends upon God for continued blessings. Such a legal view not only violates the very foundation of our State Constitution, but it offends the God upon whom we depend and undermines our wellbeing.

…

Therefore, based on the laws of God and the Constitution of the State of Iowa, and for the purpose of securing the blessings of God upon our state: 

    I am calling for our governor to have this blasphemous display removed immediately based on the grounds that it is unconstitutional and *offends God upon whom the State of Iowa depends for blessings.*

    I am calling for clarifying legislation to be adopted in accordance with our State Constitution that prohibits satanic displays in our Capitol building and on all state owned property.

    I am calling for legislation to be adopted that makes it legal to display the Ten Commandments in our Capitol, in all buildings owned by the state, and in our public schools.

If we want the blessings of God upon our state, we must demonstrate by our laws and actions that we are indeed depending upon Him and that we are opposed to Satan.
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9 points
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101 points
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deleted by creator

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20 points

They will remember soon enough. When a state takes a religion it is typically pressured to get very specific, and then persecute (convert or imprison / execute) those that do not conform.

This was is the crux of the issue in the troubles, which is itching to start up again.

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5 points
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101 points

evangelist Joel Tenney, who wanted someone fired over the inclusion and implied (in the comments) that he would personally vandalize the “grossest form of idolatry I have ever seen in my state.” He even asked his followers, “Who’s gonna bail me out?!”

No, he deliberately riled up his followers, then referenced the need for “bail money” like six different times. Guy is just after the money. Hmm, I wonder what his holy book says about money?

Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have.

You cannot serve both God and money.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Oops

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35 points
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“It is more difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, than a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.”

I don’t know, seems vague…

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19 points

Yeah, like they don’t say how big the camel is - or the needle!

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10 points

It’s a metaphor, a parable, because the wealthy can buy a really big needle, see! It’s difficult because they have to ask for a custom made needle

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12 points

The needle was a side door in a city wall. The source for this is up my ass.

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10 points

Luckily they live in the United States of Amoneyca and they are Coinageans praying to the all mighty green and papery Georgod Washington. They can serve both God and money because they are one and the same.

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75 points

There is One Supreme God.

Clearly they’re talking about Cthulhu, who is not a fan of goats.

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20 points

There’s only the mighty pasta.

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7 points

Ramen.

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16 points

Have you even read the Mythos? Cthulhu is the priest of the Old Gods.

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13 points

I’ll worship how I like.

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2 points

I see, I see.

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14 points

Blasphemy!! Nyarlathotep is the One True God!!

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13 points

The Black Goat of the Woods, being land-based, is clearly younger (and therefor inferior to) Dagon.

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5 points

Well, duh, the real Dagon is Mehrunes!

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9 points

Heresy!!! Nothing is above Azathoth!!!

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5 points

Yet he is a blind idiot

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7 points

Damn thee! That scheming little bitch will crumble before the primal force that is our one true god!!!

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9 points

DAMN ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead, tsonfeir! HAAAAAARRRRRK! Hark! Triton! Hark! Bellow! Bid our father, the Sea King, rise from the depths, full-foul in his fury, black waves teeming with salt-foam, to smother this young mouth with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your organs 'till ye turn blue and bloated with bilge and brine and can scream no more… only when, he, crowned in cockle shells with slithering tentacled tail and steaming beard, takes up his fell, be-finnèd arm – his coral-tined trident screeches banshee-like in the tempest and plunges right through yer gullet! BURSTING YE, a bulging bladder no more, but a blasted bloody film now – a nothing for the Harpies and the souls of dead sailors to peck and claw and feed upon, only to be lapped up and swallowed by the infinite waters of the Dread Emperor himself, forgotten to any man, to any time, forgotten to any god or devil, forgotten even to the sea… for any stuff or part of tsonfeir, even any scantling of your soul, is tsonfeir no more, but is now itself the sea!

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1 point
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62 points

Conservative projection also includes ‘owning the libs’. I think everyone with an IQ passed their shoe size can agree on how eeeeeeeeasy it is to riled up conservatives. You literally only have to apply their own rules to them and nothing more. You don’t even have to come up with an original idea.

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17 points

Why should we come up with a new idea? They don’t.

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2 points
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