61 points

In all seriousness though Chuck Norris is a right wing weirdo who believes Climate policy is a con game designed to usher in a “one world order” and that evolution isn’t real.

Just a couple of chuck facts for the day.

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11 points

Chuck Norris sucked c@ck for bus fare and then walked home.

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10 points

Don’t you understand… He solved all the mysteries, like Climate Policy. /s

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5 points

No one said he was good at it.

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-8 points

If you have to use an /s, you’ve effectively failed at sarcasm. Kinda like those memes where the top text has an explanation in parenthesis.

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-9 points

Well, globalism is a thing, after all.

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6 points

Yes and that thing is a dog whistle for antisemitism.

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23 points

On the one hand, Chuck Norris is a weird fucking guy these days.

On the other hand, in the golden age of memes back in like 2011 or whatever, I made a Chuck Norris fact that wasn’t so well received:

Chuck Norris can speak in cursive.

I thought it was pretty good.

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12 points

Bruce Lee would kick this idiot’s ass with a passion if he was still alive.

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bruce lee kills chuck norris twice

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-4 points

The following are the twelve points that guide Mr. Norris’ life:

  1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
  2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
  3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person that I meet.
  4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family and acknowledge that no other success can compensate for failure in the home.
  5. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
  6. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
  7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself that I will have no time to criticize others.
  8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
  9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness toward another person’s viewpoint while still holding fast to that which I know to be true and honest.
  10. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
  11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends.
  12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.
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6 points
  1. I will never, ever learn to act, no matter how many films and television shows I’m in.
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4 points
*

10 is boot kicking horse shit. Also, pretty sure he didn’t respect the president when it was Obama.

edit: Yup. Here’s Chuck Norris predicting 1000 years of darkness if Obama wins the election.

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3 points

That is disappointing, I’ve been watching Chuck Norris stuff lately and wasn’t aware of any of this. Dude is actually insane.

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