Since starting my questioning journey, I feel like some of sexual orientation labels make less sense. I like girls (a lot apparently). I have always liked girls. Therefore as amab I am straight, I realize one day in the future “fuck it, I’m transitioning” and then I’m not longer straight. It honestly would make a lot more sense to use words like gynophilic or androphilic to describe more of what you’re attracted to instead of how your attraction relates to you
Probably too in my head about it or something. I don’t mean any disrespect in anyway. I’m just in a long unexpected journey of self reflection and used to view those a little more concretely.
Also, if I ever do get to a point of feeling like I should transition, I’m definitely coming out as a lesbian first and try to let them work backwards. It could be funny. Maybe it could ease the conversation along?
I’m rambling now, this started as (I thought) a kind of funny thought, then got too serious and I’ll shut up now.
Got curious, ended up here: https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Gynesexual Wondering what current discourse is on whether it’s transphobic? It seems to have gotten more popularity since last i looked. Honestly femmesexual and mascsexual sounds more appealing to us without any real reference to genitals or specific genders? Plus it’s just easier for our perma-fried brain to remember~
You can always say “I like girls” explicitly in conversation
Your orientation as it relates to you and your orientation as it relates to society are both important. A lesbian and a straight cis man are both attracted to women, but their experiences are very different, so I think having multiple options that we can use to describe our experiences is great. We find power in finding the right words to understand ourselves :)
Often, a lot of trans girls early in their journey of self ownership hesitate to use the label lesbian for themselves, because imposter syndrome is hard to overcome.
But that gets better with time too.
Either way, it doesn’t matter what labels you use or why, what matters is that they are the labels that are helping to empower you and helping you to navigate the world. If they’re doing that, they’re the right labels :)
You make some good points. I love that I can bounce these ideas/questions off all of you!
I feel like I got more comfortable with the idea of lesbian applying to me faster than girl/woman (still questioning) but I just think about all the absolute shit cis women have to go through, and it makes me feel like, “there’s no way I can compare” and a lot of “you only really want the fun feminine parts”(😓😖😫) and I admit, there’s fun parts I like the idea of, and there’s shitty parts I never deal with because of how I was born and I do feel like “why bother if I’ll never fit” even though I already feel somewhat like I don’t fit in anywhere.
Shit is complicated.
And as The Offspring said “Shit is fucked up”
Often, a lot of trans girls early in their journey of self ownership hesitate to use the label lesbian for themselves, because imposter syndrome is hard to overcome.
It truly is! Even though I know all this I still struggle telling girls that I’m lesbian. But when I do and they’re understanding (99.9% of the time?) I feel happy and validated.
But nonetheless I still have my imposter syndrome :(
Back when I was a young girl who thought she was a guy (I stole that line from Stephane Stirling, and will use it forever), I had always joked I was a lesbian, because if a girl who liked girls was lesbian, than so was I. Side note, it’s weird how your brain drops crap like that on you, and you don’t come out to yourself til you’re 37. Anyways, a year an a half ago, I realized I was bi. I have a thing for big, hunky guys, almost exclusively, on the masculine side. If it weren’t for that little self discovery, welllll… I can safely say I called myself out on that one. Even now, though I do describe myself as bi, I do have a heavy preference for feminism. At least, until I discover if my lust for women is either scientific or carnal. Kinda been coming to the realization I probably wasn’t wanting their body, I was wanting to have their body.
Sorry for oversharing…
probably wasn’t wanting their body,I was wanting to have their body.
I’m not 100% the direction you’re going here, but definitely lately I have been more or less maybe both “I want your body” (to enjoy) and “I want to be you”, which feels odd, because it hasn’t been much of a thing til recently.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ll admit to have watching porn just to get off, but honestly, I used to think I was some pervert freak. Now… Now I realize I wasn’t wanting lustfully ogle those innocent women at the mall. I was admiring, studying. Probably trying some things out in my head. You know Amber, from Genshin Impact? I haven’t played it in a couple of years, but I kinda wanna adopt that style. Booty shorts, low cut shirt. I wanna adopt some of the stuff and styles I’ve seen, and hope I can be as pretty as they are some day. Ya know?
i 100% agree! its so frustrating that the commonly used labels imply both the gender of me and the people im attracted to. id use those words you mentioned if only they werent so ugly
Yeah I saw maybe those words or something very similar used first in a scientific study in the 90s or later, so definitely the cold scientific rigidity even if it hasn’t cough on.
I’m no wordologist, but something that mean attracted to femme-presenting or masc-presenting would feel more accurate,but yeah I’m not gonna be the one to coin a new set of words.
