43 points

Imagine a adult coming out of the stall , with their pants around their knees, like a six year old. “Sorry, got to wash my hands first…”

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31 points
*

Uh yeah? I’m not just gonna walk to the sink with my dick out

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34 points

No? How else do you wash it after peeing?

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30 points

Dip it while you flush.

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1 point

Brand new sentence right there

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12 points

No? How else do you wash it after peeing?

Exactly! And you gotta take it out again anyhow to use the dryer on it.

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12 points

The bad thing about the newfangled Dyson ones is there isn’t really a good place to put your dick

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1 point

I don’t watch my penis after peeing but only my hands

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25 points

Don’t forget that belt that never gets washed!

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14 points

Depending on the public restrooms, I tend to wash my hands before touching things downstairs. I shower and I launder; I don’t use my junk to touch everything through the day like I do my hands. As far as I’m concerned, downstairs is one of the cleanest parts of my body and I like to keep it that way, so washing hands after the fact is a near redundant action for my personal hygiene and a social courtesy for others’.

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1 point

It’s clean until you fart.

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1 point

You’re the bad guy from Shape of Water

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13 points

…yea? They’re not gonna zip themselves

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7 points

Why wouldn’t you just have your bathroom attendant do it?

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3 points

I have no idea where that bathroom attendant has been, which is why I always use a manservant to tuck me back in and zip me up. It’s the only way to be sure.

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