TLDR: Have you any tips or resources about how to be motivated to do things which you enjoy having ADHD in mind?
Hey, recently I had to stop my ADHD meds for a while.
Additionally I have a lot of time right now bec. of medical reasons and I try to do things I want to do instead of proctrastinating, so whenever I realize that I’m just doing stuff without actually enjoying them, I try to sit back, make me some tee and think about what I want to do. Like not in the future, but right now.
But the thing is, very often I just sit there and there is nothing I want to do. I try to enjoy doing nothing but it is kind of frustrating sitting there and thinking about what I want to do and nothing comes up.
I wanted to ask if this is a me thing or an ADHD related thing, and if so how you manage that. I either am completly stressed out with 100 projects at the same time or doing nothing and having no motivation to do anything. How can I be motivated to do things I enjoy? How to find things which I enjoy without sitting there and stressing out that currently I’m not motivated to do anything?
I’ve struggled with this for years and I’ve found something recently that helps: Make a list of daily todos.
Why this helps me: I find that my mind naturally wants to switch from what I’m currently doing to something (anything) else. When this urge comes up, instead of opening up social media or whatever other time sink I totally go to, I instead open up my todo list and try to switch to one of those tasks.
What I’ve found is that even though this doesn’t stop me from ever procrastinating with video games or other time-sinks, I at least have found myself getting more things done that actual help my life rather than just sitting there not knowing what else I *should * be doing.
Tips for making this work:
- write the todos in an app on your phone (like the “Notes” app) and do not fully close that app. Leave it open in the background so it doesn’t take long to load when you need it.
- don’t give yourself more than 3-4 things on your todo list for a day. Trust me, you won’t do more than 3-4 and you’ll feel great about yourself when you get those 3-4 done. (Go easy on yourself if you don’t get them all done — you’re still doing better than not having a list at all)
- Before you go to bed, try and create the list for the next day.
It takes work to develop this habit, but legit just try it for a couple of days and see how you feel.
I know this doesn’t answer your question of “how do I find what I like to do”, but I’ve found that once I start accomplishing small things, the creative juices start flowing.
Best of luck!
Part of the problem is that with so many devices and stimulus vectors, we never let ourselves really get truly bored anymore. Being bored is sometimes good.
That said, it takes more than a bit of effort to break reflexes and habits around just grabbing you’re phone or kindle or whatever when something isn’t actively engaging you.
Its not that much about what I should be doing, rather finding hobbies I want to do intrinsically. Or do you say, that in the morning I should create Lists of hobbies that I want to do today until I want to do them intrinsically?
from what i understand, dopamine plays a massive factor in contributing to motivation in most people.
made a todo list? here’s some dopamine. finish a task? have another drop of dopamine.
meanwhile, the dispensing system in an ADHD brain is faulty and thus does not deliver the same sense of accomplishment that would generally fuel an NT to continue their productivity.
warm take: while i agree finding strategies for “manual mode” are import, so is, imo, learning how to sit comfortably in that unproductive space. counter productive as it may seem, sometimes it’s the weight of that pressure to feel motivated that’s the stressor, not the lack of motivation in and of itself.
The only thing that works for me is to start by forcing myself to do the work, and then let the work itself condition me into wanting/expecting to keep doing it.
Can you give an example of an activity where it worked for you and how you kept at it?
Going to the gym: I absolutely HATE the gym. But after a month of forcing myself to go, my body ached for that exercise. And I consistently kept going because it almost hurts to NOT go.
Personal projects: I’m editing a novel I wrote, and editing is not as fun as writing the first draft. I’ll procrastinate for days. But when I FORCE myself to just sit down I get totally absorbed, and then it’s fresh on my mind and I actively want to edit the next chapter.
Motivation doesn’t work because it’s fleeing. You need to learn discipline. You need to to learn how to do the thing even if you don’t want to do it.
I heard some good advice recently. It starts with an aside.
What’s the #1 factor for finding a partner? Proximity. Out of personality, looks, attraction, whatever. The #1 thing is if the other person lives in the same city.
Same goes for productivity. Take it down to its most basic quality. You’re only going to produce anything if you actually sit down and code, or write a book, or practice an instrument. Motivation is nice, but the biggest difference between a published author and an unpublished one is that the published author sat down and wrote something.
Discipline
EDIT: I wasn’t trying to insult anyone with a one word reply, but OP was describing discipline, “to train or develop by instruction and exercise especially in self-control”
Motivation is nice, but the biggest difference between a published author and an unpublished one is that the published author sat down and wrote something.
This is a great real life example of discipline. The published author has disciplined themselves to sit down and write, even when they don’t feel motivated to.
i’m so sorry you live under that pressure of others expectations. having the capacity to take a disciplined approach and self moderate your behaviors is an important skillset, no doubt. but that is not the same thing as feeling and nurturing intrinsic motivation.
That’s what I’m thinking about. I want to learn to do random stuff with enjoyment rather than getting good at specific things. And I’m unsure whether this can be achieved with discipline
The only thing to it is to do it!
Just be motivated to go do it and you’ll be motivated to do it
