A few days ago I shared some news that the Eurovision song from Israel would be named “Your land is mine now” to later realize it was from an onion kind of website, lol.
I hope I’m not alone in this kind of f’up.
I am NOT joking. This is serious shit, I almost puked because my toots smell so bad. Listen, I’m not a psychopath. I just needed to use up some onions. In my defense, I had some steak with it too. Steak and onions, not a bad combo right? I flew too close to the sun. Too many onions.
I made the mistake of sitting on the couch and farting, now the place where I sat reeks to high hell. I’m surprised I didn’t melt a hole through the fabric. I’ve been trying to fart outside on my balcony to keep from just blowing shit Febreeze in my flat. Now I’m sitting in my office chair and trying not to gag. I’m not squeamish, especially not with my own farts. This is different. Too many onions.
My whole apartment smells like a cross between an outhouse and a paper mill with a dash of rotten egg and diarrhea sprinkles. Why did I do this to myself?? I was a fool. Nay, I am a fool. I don’t even want to think about the torrent of ass lava that I’ll be subjected to tomorrow morning. I’m going to have animal control at my door thinking a family of possums died in the vents. How will I be able to tell my girlfriend that I can’t come see her because I have putrid onion gas? This is a lamentable misstep on my part, I ate God’s ass apple and now I’m paying the poo poo price. Too many onions.
UPDATE: As predicted, I did a world-ending dump that left my legs trembling and gave me what I can only describe as “the schwetts” (shit sweats). It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the malignant stench my shit left is clinging to the walls like cigar smoke, except the cigar is just a turd. I was naive enough to leave my hand towel in the bathroom while I did the dark deed and it will now need to be burned, it absorbed the ass fumes like a greedy little sponge. Evacuating this demon crap from my body tired me out to the point of needing a nap afterwards. I’ll be getting in touch with a local priest in hopes of getting my shitter blessed. I looked into the eyes of god and found only poo. Hell is real and it can be purchased for about $1.25 per pound
This happened in a biology class where we had groups of people trying to get the DNA out of fruits and vegetables, my group had chosen an onion, in an effort to try and be the cool kid I ate some of the onion, no one noticed.
All plants, animals, mushrooms, bacteria, etc have DNA. Any time a living thing reproduces there can be unique mutations that give the offspring a unique DNA. And, especially if it is a sexual reproduction (having two parents, like in most fruits) the parents DNA is mixed together to form a unique combination of the two parents.
Oh man, sometimes yes but sometimes not so much. Know how humans have 23 chromosomes? And we’re diploid, which means they come in pairs of 2?
Some plants have a few more pairs than that - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyploidy And some plants have way WAY more than 23 chromosomes - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_organisms_by_chromosome_count There’s a plant at the bottom of that list that has 1260 chromosomes.
I only took 1 botany class back in college, so I don’t know or remember enough to talk about this in more depth. I really only know enough to be shocked by how crazy a plant’s genuine can be.
Is “ate the onion” a well known saying? I’ve never heard It before
I Can’t comment as to the “erll” qualifier, but I have seen the expression used before inregards to not seeing the satire in a satire article.
EDIT: No edits. The above stays as it stands, purely out of spite.
for australian prime ministers it is. at least, it is in recent history
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://piped.video/Bw3o6qNZWmg?si=incVe8FHPtDpzSUL
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I like that you are passing off a clear case of your own unexamined antisemitism as a cute conversation starter.
Cool cool finger guns
Edit: anybody downvoting really should be obligated to explain how somebody falling for such a thing isn’t an antisemite at worst or a pure moron at best.
Antisemitism is about hating jews because they’re jews. That’s completely separate from criticizing a nation for crimes against humanity. The first is a group of people with no central government, the second is an administrative entity with a military that is violating the Geneva convention in another country.
If they are so willing to believe something so utterly ridiculous. It doesn’t paint the best picture for them.
If you press a lot of the people you are getting your information from, you will in fact find they hate Jews for being Jews.
When you are claiming the world’s oldest conspiracy, you have to start from the position of, "I not one of the other antisemites who has claimed this thousands of times over the years and always been wrong, it’s true this time.
If you truly believe this far right conspiracy is true now, that’s fine, but if you are at all wrong, you are the same kind of person who has always made this claim.
You literally have no reading comprehension. You pressed me three times, and each time I responded with ‘Any country that deals with a population it considers problematic by completely restricting access to food, medicine, and potable water is committing a genocide’
Each time you ignored that and tried to ‘press’ me again.
It’s almost like you’re looking for an answer you’re not getting.
