fries are another $8.00

All the workers have forearm tattoos
At least 3 people are wearing beanies in the middle of summer
Bacon is $4 extra
The burger comes out on a bun drenched in butter and is so greasy/oily that halfway through it may as well have been served in a bowl

It’s also a dry pretzel bun

The biggest disappointment

Also:

The waiter has a twirled moustache and wears a mesh shirt combined with a bowler hat
The $4 extra bacon is burned to charcoal strips

God I wish my wish waiter wore a mesh shirt, where the hell is this?

In a place where touching the waiters is not included, sorry ;)

Drinks are served in jars, and your fries, well, you get 8 fries in a rusty old can.

The place is being run by 3 bearded lumbersexuals in flannel and ball caps having the time of their lives and a chick in overalls and her hair in a bandanna who could not be more over it.

Also the heat is cranked up uncomfortably high. The air is muggy. The whole place smells of onion.

A guy is laying in the corner working on his MacBook wearing those brown Marshall headphones

The sound is provided entirely by a neglected Technics 1200 that nobody knows how to adjust accept the barback that only works on Wednesdays and Fridays.

At this point pretty much all BOH staff in any resto are packing tons of tats. Probably easier to count the ones who don’t

I hat that brushed butter bullshit. If you want a butter burger, it goes on the hamburger patty,

I hate those fucking stools. I swear they were invented to be so uncomfortable that once you’ve choked down that mediocre overpriced burger you want to leave as soon as possible because your ass hurts.

Getting people to leave quickly allows more people to enter, which means more burgers served.

always order everything to go and take it home and eat it in the comfort of my own bed.

restaurants are so uncomfortable.

What’s wrong with you 😧

When you eat so many luxury burger that you can only afford a studio, there isn’t any other seating than bed.

You eat in your bed? Ngl that is nasty

Don’t worry, they mean the bed of their truck. The airflow at highway speeds ensure all crumbs are carried away immediately!

In what way?

Genuinely curious if it’s because you might get food in bed or the act of eating where you sleep?

They’re shitty amazon order stools I bet.

I assume they got them cheap when a school science lab was upgrading to something made this century

How the fuck do you even

The first thing you have to do is

Manage to price tater tots at 1 dollar

Why is this so accurate

Half of the “artisan” burger chains in my city are marginally better than a fast-food chain. One, maybe two of them make burgers so good that they’re worth the occasional splurge.

There’s a BBQ place near me, and I ordered tater tots there once, as a side. They were $4. They literally gave me 4 tater tots. They were one dollar apiece.

There are two types of BBQ places; stingy, overpriced, gourmet bullshit with barely any sauce and greasy, messy, heart stopping heaven. The former always pretends to be the latter.

There’s also Mission BBQ which is stingy, overpriced, overly-sweet non-gourmet bullshit with jingoistic pro-military support-the-troops bullshit thrown in for good measure.

Don’t forget the right-wing “we’re ignoring mask mandates in the height of the pandemic and not limiting seating because we’re god-fearin’ 'mercans here!” bullshit.

I ordered a gyro with a side of onion rings (the onion rings alone were $7) from a local place to take home. When I got home and opened the box of onion rings, I saw there were only six small (like, 1.5" in diameter) onion rings in the too-large box - more than a dollar per tiny ring. Next time I went I complained about the onion rings and they showed me the menu which said “6 onion rings” in the item description albeit in a tiny font. Like, they knew what complete and utter bullshit it was so they had to have something legal to fall back on.

“Bro, we told you we were bullshitting you, right there in the sign. That means we’re not at fault”

Fuck that shit.

This meme is either very old or was made by someone in the midwestern US (always years behind on fads).

All of the bistro burger joints have gone the way of the dinosaur in my neck of the woods. Now it’s all smash burger fast food knock offs.

Nah, I got take out 3 burgers in SF area for 60 bucks in a place that looked like this and offered 6$ fries. Wtf

I can’t think of any neighborhood in SF where I’d choose one of these places over literally anywhere else. Too much good cheap food here.

What??? San Francisco has expensive food? That’s simply not believable

Taphouse/brewery has replaced the bistro burger joints that couldn’t survive covid.

The places I see like this that are still around are moreso just generic American food :tm:. They sell more than just burgers, but the burgers are stupid expensive

I mean… Most of the places near me a burger with a sides is typically like $13 - $16 and I am definitely in the Midwest…

This meme is so old it’s kid is the hostess at a burger joint like this

its* kid is the hostess

That’s great news, right?

Why do coastal cities always do this shit? At least in the midwest, a person is more likely to come up with a good plan and keep it going long term.

Midwest is always about 4 years behind coastal City trends.

That misses the entire point of what i said, in order to just repeat the previous statement.

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fries are another $8.00(slrpnk.net)

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