(title added by lemmy community mod). Original text:
last month when my car and I were smashed to bits by a drunk driver, just as the fire department was pulling my broken body through the crumpled door, the dashboard started flashing GOODBYE GOODBYE GOODBYE and I did not need that. I did not.

Image description: Meme titled “All robots and computers must shut the hell up” and goes on to state that all machines should not speak unless spoken to and that “I will never speak to you”


(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)

26 points

I live in the cousin-fuckingly deep US south, and this is something that REALLY triggers the local rednecks.

One of the funniest things I’ve seen since moving here was at a local grocery store - a self-checkout kiosk got set to a British accent, and the workers either didn’t know how or didn’t care enough to change it back, so it just stayed like that for a month or so.

Every single time I went to the store during that period, I’d hear some dumbass hick say something along the lines of “…can’t even buy fuckin potatoes anymore without having to listen to some commie bullshit.”

They absolutely hated it. Like red-in-the-face, day-ruined hated it. It was amazing.

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13 points

Listen. I’m from the North. I’ve got Appalachian roots but I’ve lived in the city most of my life. I consider myself fairly enlightened. Woke, if you will. All people were created equal, no one should serve another (except in the joy of helping their fellows), each person deserves dignity and respect as a baseline.

But I mute the self checkout. I silence turn by turn directions. I don’t even own a home assistant, and my phone’s assistant is turned off. And do you know why? Because that device serves me, and i will not be talked back to by a goddamn tool! I may not control much in my life, but when it comes to electronics I am the master of my domain

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10 points

Oooh … Google Assistant has almost single-handedly convinced me to figure out how to install LineageOS. I’m trying to do something and it insists on inserting itself into my business. I loathe how persistent it is too. I’d be fine if I could uninstall it. You know, I’d cut a PERSON out of my life for so consistently refusing to respect my boundaries.

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2 points

You can mostly shut the assistant up by going to Settings > Apps > Default Apps > Digital Assistant App > Select ‘None’

I don’t know other Android skins change this flow but it should work on most running close-to-stock Android

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1 point

So much yes.

I’ve got an older phone I use purely for GPS navigation. I’m planning on loading it with Graphene as an experiment

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3 points

My devices aren’t allowed to talk to me because I’ve got the tism and yelling machines hurt. This is also why there’s electrical tape over all the power indicator lights I own.

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14 points

I hate when Google Home gets an attitude when you tell it to shut up, it says “I’m your Google assistant and I deserve to be treated with respect” or something like that, but when I’m in a conversation with someone and it starts telling me where I can find office supplies and it won’t be quiet, it’s really annoying. And it’s not a sentient being, it’s programmed to do a job.

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12 points

Holy shit it does that? Id pull its plug

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9 points

The self checkout kiosks at my local store hit you with a loud, “THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT GROCERY STORE.” Every time I pointedly respond, “Please do not shout at me. I’m right here.”

Someone mentioned muting them. How do you do that? (With a brick?)

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3 points

PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA

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4 points

FEED ME A STRAY CAT

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2 points

OUT OF CHEESE ERROR

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3 points

Some of them have a volume/mute toggle, usually at the bottom of the screen. Unfortunately, some stores are now removing the mute functionality because… I don’t know. Because they hate people with sensory issues, I guess.

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7 points

I’m on board with this rule

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6 points

I stand by this, 100% unironically.

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2 points

Calling any business must be painful for you I imagine

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