Ubisoft has said the recently released Skull and Bones has achieved “record player engagement” since launch, although it has yet to announce how many copies it’s sold or how many players it has.

133 points

You wouldn’t know the players, they go to a different school.

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43 points

The different school in 8 months after Skull and Bones launch:

Our curriculum isn’t doing well. This is not the curriculum we wanted to deliver. Players expect better, yada yada yada, you know the usual school’s apology stuff. We need to lay off 100% of teachers so as to realign, synergize, refocus, retool, and remoney our money-making money curriculum disguised as a “game”. We will do better. We hear you loud and clear (kind of), and we probably learned a lesson of some kind.

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18 points

and we probably learned a lesson of some kind.

From now on, I’m going to tack that to the end of every game studio announcement I read, just to see how it fits.

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79 points

User accidentally opens Uplay when trying to double-click Steam

A store banner ad shows ‘Skull and Bones’

User immediately frowns in disgust and tries to spam the X button to quit Uplay

Uplay privacy-invading telemetry captures an image of the user frowning via the webcam, and tracks the movement of the mouse cursor moving across the banner ad of ‘Skull and Bones’

Uplay closes, telemetry is uploaded to Ubisoft’s servers

Ubisoft:

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56 points

As a hobbyist game developer, my game also has record player engagement.

My wife played it for about 15 mins.

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20 points
*

My wife played it for about 15 mins.

Heck yeah!

To me, few things compare to when my life partner is briefly mildly engaged with my hobby project:

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3 points

Why censor the middle panel of this meme?

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3 points

In my case: laziness. This version is just what came up in a quick search.

I thought it was odd, but I didn’t want to let the fellow kids know that I don’t know why it changed.

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10 points

Sounds like success to me. Any engagement is better than none

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-9 points

Also, this guy has a wife which is a record for lemmy users.

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17 points

Newsflash: Not everyone is a teenager on lemmy, many of us have spouses and children.

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36 points

There aren’t many AAAA gamers out there I suppose

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15 points

Ubisoft in 2031:

We’re pushing AAAA gaming forward, to grow our fledgling AAAA Gamer-base! We are excited to introduce AAAA-as-a-Service. We think you’re gonna love our AAAAaS.

Stay tuned in 2032, when we launch our connected AAAA-as-a-Service-Subscription! Now you’ll be able to get ground-breaking AAAAaSS gaming at an affordable value. Paid subscribers will get even more checklists, even more overwhelming map icons, and an even larger empty world with no payoff to explore to complete in our games! Do you love going here and pressing the A button? What if you could complete those map markers while not only pressing the A button to end the mission, but instead, having to swipe your credit card while timing the press of the A button? We feel this rewarding challenge will introduce a sense of pride and accomplishment in gamers, and introduce more money in our coffers.

Gamers:

Dude, just create new innovative games with new IPs that aren’t monetized to hell! We’ll buy those! We miss the old Splinter Cell days.

Uibsoft:

MoNeTiZaTiOn, you say??!! Splinter Cell as a Service, you say?! We hear you loud and clear!

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1 point

Collect 3,000 cells in this wide open world to collect your skins.

Buy 4,000 cells to get this custom pirate skin for your character.

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6 points

Of all the self labeled AAAA games, this is easily the best, no contest.

No contest on account of there only being one.

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25 points

Didn’t the latest shitty Call of Duty try basically this exact tactic? They cited some sort of record high in player engagement with the campaign, because if you torture statistics hard enough you can make them say anything.

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9 points

Same with Starfield. Biggest launch ever!! Well yeah no shit Sherlock it was free on gamepass for like 30 million people lol

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