Yet it’s the sysadmin who gets blamed, not the developer. “How can you tune the database so this doesn’t happen?”
I am telling you this because hopefully it will make you feel a little better. Our head of it blames devs for slow queries.
Devs who don’t understand how SQL or relational databases work write absolute abortions of queries.
9 times out of 10 - yes it is absolutely the devs. I say that as the dev who gets tasked with analysing why these shitty queries from our low budget outsourced labour are so slow
So you are saying you are the expert in unshitifying queries? What is the most common thing that needs to be unshitified?
So the guy died and decomposed in 10 minutes and somehow it mysql’s fault?
Allergic to Indices? If your database is slow just add more Indices until you have one on every column of every table! :-)
The guy after him:
“Hmm since I don’t feel like looking in the documentation for every possible key of this attribute, I’ll just throw a distinct. And while I’m at it, let’s do this for every attribute that I don’t know the keys of”
This is fake the pid of the younger guy is smaller than that of grandpa
Could be an instance of BSD where (so I hear) PIDs are assigned randomly from the unused numbers, or else the system has massive process churn going on elsewhere and the old timer is from a previous cycle of consecutive PIDs.
Some systems still have /proc/sys/kernel/pid_max set to something around 32768, so wrapping back to 0 can happen fairly often.
Given all the PIDs in the comic seem pretty low, it might even be as low as 1024 wherever this is.
(Yes, I know I’m taking this way too seriously.)
