Hey. I was told having issues controlling anger or emotions in general can be related to ADHD. I know I get WAY angrier than anyone should ever be sometimes.
Especially when injustice and ignorance come my way. I get furious beyond anything Iâve ever seen or heard of anyone else talk about. Maybe aside from depictions of killers or berserkers in fiction. Itâs not cool.
Only a few times have I gotten in trouble for it luckily and I never actually done anything more than shout the most disgusting insults at someone.
Now I do feel bad afterwards if I got angry at someone I like. But often enough I feel they fucking deserved it. If someone is an ignorant asshole willingly ruining someoneâs day, week or life they deserve some ruin thrown back at them. I know this might not be a good and healthy thing to think. But if someone provokes someone donât they ask to be yelled at?
I know they do this to âwin the argumentâ because of that imo idiotic notion that who yells first is wrong. But honestly I rarely care to be right enough for shit to matter.
Iâve read a few books on anger management and some techniques help a bit. But the amount of anger described in the book seems so very mild to me in comparison to what I experience and how fast it builds up. One book told me to count to three. I am ready to launch nukes before I reach 1. That wonât work.
And I donât get angry at something. I have pure rage and fury, hatred and contempt for existence itself at those moments. Angry really doesnât cut it. Itâs scorched earth, blown it all up and piss on the ruins kind of anger.
So anyone else experience this? Any tips to deal with this shit?
I have never related to something more.
I hate the way that I hate.
I just canât fathom how some people can be so oblivious and inconsiderate to others, sometimes to the point of danger.
I donât have a remedy or fix apart from letting you know that you arenât alone.
You sound like me when I was young. I would easily explode for no reason and it felt like rage would burn me from inside. To be honest I never found a better way to deal with this other than simply getting older. At 48 Iâm much more relaxed and donât get that easily upset anymore. There are of course still things that annoy me but itâs by far not that intense anymore.
I think explosive, sudden anger is pretty common in many folks regardless of ADHD. However, as youâve noted, if you feel that there is such intense rage in you that you might be acting irrationally then I would strongly recommend speaking with a therapist.
Everyone experiences and communicates their emotions differently. A good therapist can help you analyze your emotions and work with you to determine why your reactions might be so explosive. It could be due to past trauma, present anxieties, neurodivergence such as ADHD, medication side effects, or any combination of these things. They may even find that you felt or acted in an entirely appropriate manner given the contexts and help assuage your guilt.
That youâre going straight to nuclear at 1 is troubling. You may need to get some professional help for that.
You may have rejection sensitive dysphoria.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling shortâfailing to meet their own high standards or othersâ expectations.
When this emotional response is externalized, it looks like an impressive, instantaneous rage at the person or situation responsible for causing the pain.
The first medication mentioned as a possible treatment, guanfacine, changed my life to such a degree I did not think was possible.
I encourage you to read through the entire article and maybe discuss with your doctor on possible treatments if this sounds like what you experience.
While I do struggle with that a tiny bit still I have gotten so much better at dealing with my own expectations as well as criticism in general.
But also this is rarely what makes me angry if at all anymore. Itâs more injustice, inconsideration causing harm or ignorance and malintent.
