I’ve been happily posting away here on two accounts since just before the Great Migration, and have no problem being openly a woman on the internet. Up to and including correcting people who assume I’m a guy, and even occasionally acknowledging the existence of periods.
Which, honestly that was a bad tactic back on Reddit, my inbox was a nightmare. But here it’s gone much better, so thank you to anyone who ever received one of my corrections with good grace!
It’s also brought quite a few DMs my way from other women who try to stay more anonymous with their posts, a choice I can completely understand.
So today on International Women’s Day I just want to wave hello to the other women out there, even if you don’t want to break cover and wave back. Anonymous or not, cis or trans, I see you out there and you’re killing it.
This may break the community rule on encouraging discussion, if nobody wants to out themselves to say hello back. So I guess I should also ask a question.
Um…anyone else using it as an excuse to treat themselves today? I’ve given myself the day (mostly) off work and am doing some fun gamedev all afternoon instead, then we’re planning a takeaway tonight. Easily pleased, perhaps, but sounds good to me 😄
I don’t want to invoke any negative memories but my curiosity is unsatisfied - what the hell do these guys PMed you about? We’re all anonymous on Lemmy and Reddit, nobody knows how we look or where are we from and yet publicly stating your own gender is enough to open the floodgates. It is baffling to me. Don’t feel obliged to answer of course if that’s a problem.
Going back to the topic - hello! I used today’s running routine excuse to treat myself with some sweet snacks. Unfortunately I didn’t pick the best ones so I’m left unsatisfied and with a thought that I exceeded my limit. Next time I guess.
To this day it baffles me too! But let’s just say general grossness and leave it at that :D
Well done on actually doing the running! I’m supposed to be using part of this afternoon to go for a long walk as well as doing the gamedev stuff, but so far all I’ve managed is hanging out on Lemmy. Oops!
I can honestly feel the disappointment of a poor sweet choice from here. Nothing worse than feeling like you’ve earned it only to “waste” the opportunity. You have my express sympathy.
I remember being a male teenager long time ago and the brain just screams about sex all the time.
That’s probably why some of the less evolved men out there starts pm-ing any lady they see.
Just getting a response is of some value appearently.
Then you get older and realize girls are evil so they lose their attraction. Lol. Mostly kidding.
As a guy with a wife and adult daughter who are active online, I just don’t get it either. My daughter was playing MMO games when she was little and I often had to take her keyboard and say, “Dude, she’s 7!” when guys would PM her really sexual stuff. She ended up just making characters with gender neutral names to reduce it. That’s from guys who know zero other than their gender. My wife gets all sorts of replies that are about her being a woman and nothing to do with the things she said. It makes no sense.
I’m so glad to hear Lemmy is better! I hope it continues to be a place where our interactions are based on our ideas and not our bodies.
Not a woman, but still: hello, welcome, 👋
It’s a shame a lot of women still feel the need to hide in order to avoid bad interactions online. You’d think we’d have gotten past that phase by now. After all, half the folks on this planet are women. And since it isn’t 1992 anymore, girls are in fact allowed on the internet.
Hiding perpetuates that stereotype, but I understand why they do it.
It’s honestly just so much easier, I totally get it.
But let’s keep it light! Assuming the “Dutch” part of your username is accurate, I’d like to congratulate you and your country on a banging Eurovision entry this year.
It’s accurate yes :D and that certainly is an… annoyingly catchy song for sure!
Yeah it happened more than once back on reddit that I got some creeper sending a pm, would usually chat politely with them for a bit before pulling out the good 'ol “You do realize I’m a guy, right?” - unfailingly got them pissed off and angry real quick.
For extra creep factor, it would usually happen after posting on /r/teenagers
Welcome to the Fediverse!
Indeed, people are quite a bit more welcoming here than Reddit - ofc not everywhere, but more so, on average. If it helps, you can block not only individual users communities, but even whole entire instances - the latter by going into your profile, scrolling way down, and adding the instance name to that list. Do what you want, but for me, when TENS of people continue to spam-reply me WEEKS after I STOP responding, that’s the signal that they are refusing to control themselves, so I take matters into my own hands and block them. For that reason I blocked hexbear and lemmygrad.ml, and some people block lemmy.ml too but I do enjoy their memes and such and just stay out of their politics community so I have not gone that far for that one. If this describes you, note that this can improve your experience in the Fediverse by perhaps 90% so may be WORTH IT. People from those instances can still reply to your posts and comments, but you will not receive notifications anymore, nor see them while you are logged in:-).
One thing more I wanted to make sure that you and your friends know: DMs are not private. I don’t know of any actual tools that makes reading someone’s DMs possible, but the signals are out there and not only admins but anyone could, in theory. Probably that won’t matter 99% of the time but e.g. sending physical addresses or phone numbers would be easy to scan for across the Fediverse by malicious actors.
Anyway, I hope you feel welcomed! (fwiw, I am not a woman, I just wanted to share these thoughts in case they would be helpful:-)
Thanks although, as I said, been here quite a while now. Still it’s good advice for anyone newer who might be reading this, especially the part about the DMs!
My block list is surprisingly short, so far, although let’s see if making such a statement in public ends up changing that fact 😉
Posts about how good Lemmy is for women on International Women’s Day
Immediately gets Lemmy mansplained to her
Lmao
There are dozens of us! But seriously I’ve been so happy to be a lady on here and have good conversations with damn near everyone. As for treating myself, I am looking forward to my husband cooking us a nice dinner this weekend.
Oh nice, what’s the food plan? Or is it a surprise?
We’ll be having crispy hawaiian tofu tomorrow which is just about my fave food in the whole world, husband is also doing the cooking (he actually does that every day because he’s one of those weirdos who enjoy it). Still very much looking forward to it though, not having to cook for myself never gets old!
We alternate cooking special meals on the weekends. Last weekend I didn’t a pulled pork butt in the crockpot and this weekend he’s going to do a nice steak dinner with mashed potatoes. Beef is a little expensive right now but we both wanted a real treat.
Would be very curious to hear about more about your husband’s crispy hawaiian tofu! I love tofu in any and all fashions and am always interested to find new ways to make it :)
It started with this recipe although I have no idea what tweaks he’s made to it since! https://www.rabbitandwolves.com/crispy-hawaiian-garlic-tofu-vegan/
I do know the trick for us is to freeze the tofu first but as a fellow enjoyer I daresay you’ve got your own favourite prep method already.
Cheers to the women of the fediverse, and the world, on your day. Glad to have you around :)
