For instance, when someone describes going to school as “traumatic,” they often simply refer to it as a negative experience. This is not to say that everyone who went to school never had a traumatic experience; however, some individuals appear to overuse the term. Another example could be considering being lightly pushed into a locker as “traumatic.”
Trauma is a very broad term. I used to think of it that way until it was redefined a bit for me, so it makes more sense. “Trauma is something negative that will affect your behavioral patterns going forward” I think is how it was worded to me.
That’s where it gets more broad. So, yes I think overused, but probably not as much as you. Someone giving you the wrong change at a store? Not traumatic, you probably won’t remember it. Being bullied at school? Absolutely, that shit will stick with you for the rest of your life, I know me being bullied affected how I thought of other people for a long time.
I had one example a while back someone told me “Not reading a text while I’m driving is traumatic because I have anxiety and what if something happened” while they were trying to justify texting an driving. No, not traumatic. The trauma is what caused that anxiety to happen in the first place. You not being able to deal with your anxiety for just a few minutes until you stop driving is a separate problem, now put down the phone and pay attention to the road. Pull over and read it if it’s so debilitating.
That texting while driving example is fucking excellent. Two summers ago I received a phone call out of the blue at 4 AM, my father has gone from a-okay to dying in the span of five hours and bleary-eyed and half asleep, I spoke to him for the last time in my life. My mother had called three times before I woke up - if she had texted instead and left it at that it’d be quite reasonable to me to be traumatized by missing texts.
However, driving and texting is an obvious danger, if I felt like I couldn’t miss a text for even a second it’d be perfectly reasonable for society to take away my driver’s license. If my texting trauma can interfere with my ability to safely operate a motor vehicle then it’d be unreasonable for society to allow me to drive - that shouldn’t be seen as a punishment for trauma but it is a reasonable response for public safety while I heal (if ever).
When someone is traumatized and has triggering events we should be kind and accommodate them as much as is reasonable but there is a limit to reasonableness and sometimes the reasonable response isn’t going to be desirable.
Also, in a perfect world we’d ensure folks have counseling available to work through their trauma, but most western countries gate that behind a steep private cost.
It’s taking a lot of willpower here to not go on a rant complaining about car culture and societies double standards around motor vehicles. So I’ll just leave it there.
Op… schools have mass shooter drills. So yes going to school can be traumatic especially if you are bullied or you actually end up witnessing a mass shooting yourself. I was bullied for years which made school fairly traumatizing for me. And having someone threaten to shoot up the school I went to did not help things. They were caught before they acted on that threat but it could just as easily have been another dozen dead kids.
If OP isn’t American, school shootings probably aren’t something to even consider… My thoughts go towards being treated poorly by educators more than anything. Bullying from other kids can suck, but in my anecdotal experience (outside the US) the lasting and impactful traumas stem from how teachers and staff deal with the kids.
No, but I do think there are varying levels of trauma. I had a coworker that was traumatized by a former abusive partner who frequently chewed gum - I greatly enjoy chewing gum but avoided doing it around them because it deeply effected them… they never offered details about their traumatic experience and I never pushed them on it.
Extremely minor seeming actions can produce trauma, trauma can even be internally manufactured - perseveration, a common habit in autism, can produce trauma simply by the person imaging what might happen in a way convincing to them way and that leads to a reasonable position. Just because someone’s trauma is focused on an action someone else did doesn’t necessarily mean that other person is responsible for that trauma… rape and assault are awful and obviously lead directly to trauma but normal acceptable actions like grounding may traumatize a child - that doesn’t mean we should tar and feather that child’s parents but nor does it mean their trauma isn’t real.
Trauma is about how you react to a situation and what emotional baggage you carry away from it - it’s a very personal thing and we should respect other people’s trauma within reason. It’s not our job to judge trauma valid or invalid but to be kind to one another and considerate of what people are going through because, honestly, some people have deep scars and we don’t need to cut them any deeper.
Yes and no. I think we all experience a lot more trauma than most people recognize and that we undersell the trauma we do acknowledge.
The thing is, life is made up of one trauma after another, often that we learn from. We are disposed to finding the silver lining and so we look at a lot of these negative experiences that do have a lasting impact and choose to address it with the positive outcomes. It’s just that some traumas aren’t as easily addressed and result in things like PTSD or cPTSD.
It’s not a matter of trauma being overused as a term so much an issue of how we define trauma.
Let’s take a look at trauma.
Trauma is a result of intense emotional stress, which overwhelms a person’s coping ability.
An example: Let’s say someone is very delicate, and gets a scare at secondary, nearly an adult. A friend came up behind them and shouts, “roar”, causing the subject to jump. Let’s say this delicate person begins to develop semi-random bouts of terror. Usually at school. Sometimes in the middle of the night. Is that trauma? Over something as “silly” as a friendly jump scare? Yes it is, as it overwhelmed the person’s ability to cope, and had lasting negative consequences.
Gate-keeping trauma helps no-one. Being, “lightly pushed into a locker”, could cause someone to look over their shoulder for the rest of their life. Please be respectful of other people’s constitution. Something mundane and silly to you, may be a life-long trauma to someone else. PTSD can occur over something as simple as fire crackers. A bit of consideration can go a long way toward understanding other people.
