I had my pocket get caught on a doorknob and rip my pants almost completely off my legs, leaving me standing in an office full of people in my underwear. I mean them shits just ripped off like a comedy where they’re meant to rip off. One minute normal, next pantless.

The summer I was 11, all the bored neighborhood kids decided to play a game of chicken with our bikes. We raced down a narrow ramp that ended at a huge concrete wall, to see who could speed the farthest without braking.

When it was my turn, I hopped on my hot pink Stingray with the banana seat and pedaled for all I was worth. I accidentally hit the wall at full speed, the rear tire flew up behind me and I was smashed flat against the wall like a bug. When the rear tire came back down and I could breathe again, I looked up to all the horrified faces and grunted “I won”, then got back on my bike and casually pedaled away until nobody could see me crying and bleeding all the way home.

I was scheduled to work later than usual yesterday. Everyone forgot I was there and left. I got locked in, set off the alarm when trying to leave, and had the call the manager to come let me out.

As a kid, I was at a snow park, getting towed up a hill in an inner tube. The tube was attached to a cyclical line with spaced out hooks, towing all the tubes to the top of the hill. But mine got unhooked when I was almost at the top and the tube flipped into its side, rolling sideways down the hill. I was still inside, holding into the handles, tumbling end over end but rotating too fast to fall out. The employees looked nervous when I reached the bottom of the hill, no doubt worried that I was injured and my parents would sue. But I just got up and went to the back of the line to go back up to the top.

I watched a guy riding a bike get doored by a car, flip over the door and land on his feet uninjured.