I go to Lemmy to escape the depression and the depression has followed me here, marvelous
You should block this community. Depression posting is kinda what it’s for.
There is. It pops up sometimes for me. Sometimes funny and relatable, sometimes depressing and relatable, sometimes WTF… And relatable.
My version - I need to constantly remind those around me that I am helpful and provide services or they’ll forget I exist.
No joke, that’s what my life has taught me. People don’t hate me, but if I stop gently reminding them I exist, then they’ll forget me. It’s happened many, many times. I’ve come to accept that I’m not inherently likable.
Fuck that’s so relatable, I hate it. I can’t keep track of the number of friends friendships I’ve had just evaporate the moment I stop texting first.
Edit: lol
God I’m having issues with that right now. I don’t make friends or anything like that. I’m not good with people. But I had met someone who would repeatedly call me their friend. They moved away but said we could still be friends and everything but it was all a lie. They never really liked me and never text me or anything. They repeatedly told me when they were going to be in town, but didn’t end up wanting to hang out when they were here. I told them how upset I was at turning 30 when I had saw them but they flat out forgot it was my birthday and never said anything despite me texting them happy birthday a week prior.
It just sucks, man. I know it’s stupid for me to be this upset about something so dumb. But I don’t make friends easily and no one calls me their friend. So when it all ends up to be a lie then I just have the hardest time getting over it.
Might have stopped wanting to hang out with a fuckin debbie downer all the time. I’ve dropped friendships because that shit is exhausting.
Definitely not true.
But the issue here is so deep that it is hard to explain.
First, obviously, if someone doesn’t care to give back that relationship isn’t worth your time anyway. But you probably know.
Second, when you are there for others but not entirely there from your own base of security, it is received as a temporary interaction, no matter if it is a pleasant or “profitable” interaction
Third, when you get back from a relationship, when they freely give to you, you probably can not fully identify that it has happened, and when you prompt yourself constantly for if you get enough you don’t have proof. So to expand on this one, you need to be super conscious about if it just feels like you are forgotten but in reality you have been appreciated and praised but it slipped off you.
You will never receive enough energy attention and love by struggling for it. This is because you never control others, and if you manage to do that, it will be truly just sabotaging any possible real unconditional friendship or love.
You can just give from your side, be so secure in yourself that you have the ability to evaluate objectively if you want to have the relationship if it doesn’t really give you joy in life
and yet nobody gives a crap. I’m currently trying to do some art just for myself, but there’s still that annoying urge to show it to someone, hoping for a shred of validation.
Things that are made are meant to be shared – we’re such social creatures and we want to help each other. It’s hard to remove yourself from the equation but I think more and more the artist is more akin to someone reading a letter more than a creator. Share the things they are supposed to be.
It’s tough because posting art online and getting a lot of unsolicited (and often unconstructive) criticism can be very demoralizing to less seasoned artists. I often see “well you shouldn’t have posted it online if you didn’t want comments” and an idea that only “good” art deserves to be seen.
When I was a young teen, I saw a thread on Reddit asking people to post their poems, so I posted one I was reasonably proud of. Only response was someone telling me it sucked. Kinda broke something in me that day, I don’t think I’ve written a poem since.
Honestly I’d love an art community more focused on growing artists. I don’t have much constructive criticism to offer, but I love watching people grow as artists.
When I was a young teen, I saw a thread on Reddit
I’d never thought i would be reading a sentence like this. Now, this makes me feel really, really old.
I’m sorry that sucks – My first internet community was DeviantArt back 20 years ago where it was really positive. I think that kind of did the opposite to me.
Now a days though – almost everything I post on Reddit gets removed as spam – it’s like an impossible system controlled by that gallowboob CCP robot
While commonly true, it isn’t universlly true. I like making things with no intent to ever share them because they are for me. Not practice things, but things that make me happy from going through the process and having a result.
I also make somethings that other people see.
That’s why it’s good to find someone else who also wants to share their stuff.
Yeah, it may feel like work at first, but after a while you gain a kind of appreciation for each other’s stuff, and then genuine interest takes hold and you start to look forward to what your friend(s) are going to share.
This is precisely what my book club has turned into. We haven’t read a book in over a year lol
I kinda had someone like that for a little bit, it’s why I started doing some art stuff. too bad they just kinda vanished without a word after weeks of telling me how great of a friend I am.
Yeah that can happen. It’s real work on both sides to maintain a relationship like that, and in my experience it usually doesn’t work out forever. It’s still worth it for the while that it does work, though.
Probably best to move on and find a new such person.
What kind of stuff do you make?
The best advise I heard is you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Do whatever you want to do which you enjoy, as long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process. Do something because you enjoy doing it and you’re not expecting validation.
Imposter syndrome isn’t real, you made it up because you are crazy. Just like you made up gaslighting.
Well, you didn’t make up gaslighting. Someone else did and you just stole it.
Because you are crazy