87 points

“Xeepzorp, it’s not that complicated. The thumb-up is like crossing your eyestalks, and the middle-finger is like extruding your rectal tentacle.”

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34 points

Ah yes the ass dick

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Aliens with a literal dick-butt? The Internet would love them!

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8 points

God I never understood that. And I was the perfect age for it.

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5 points

The universe is a big place. Dick-butt aliens are pretty much a given.

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57 points

Wait until they learn that the thumbs-up in some countries means what the middle finger does in the US…

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30 points

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the Czech Republic, where apparently holding up a single index finger means 2.

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7 points
*

Not a Czech but now that you mentioned it I want this here too!

I mean have you tried counting from either end using all your fingers i.e. thumb == 1? That dexterous shit is hard so making a single index finger two instantly makes it nice and smooth!

(Instant edit: this obviously only holds if index finger+ middle finger counts as 3, otherwise there really only seems to be an advantage in calling out 2 and my argument collapses)

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4 points

How do you count 1 then?

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1 point

I do have some experience with the Czech Republic and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the case.

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6 points

I was only there a month. I can’t claim to be any kind of expert. But I do know I wound up eating two sausages.

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53 points

It’s not that complicated, aliens

The middle finger gesture was used in ancient times as a symbol of sexual intercourse, in a manner meant to degrade, intimidate and threaten the individual receiving the gesture. It also represented the phallus, with the fingers next to the middle finger representing testicles

It’s a classic human cock-and-balls, simple as

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38 points

Ah yes signs and symbols. Surely no alien ever has heard of those.

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19 points

Humans vibrate the air in different and complicated ways. One vibration pattern humans like, another vibration pattern they don’t like. sure this “speech” thing is really complicated. also symbols squibbled on surfaces. language, am I right?

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15 points

Instead of just using brain-to-brain radio waves like any civilized species would. Pathetic.

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2 points

What are you? Some sort stelliferous era primitive? We of the degenerate/blackhole era use quantum entanglement for daily communication.

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34 points

This made me realize that if we encounter aliens there is a non-zero chance there will be alien weebs that become obsessed with our culture and think it is superior.

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2 points

That’s how we beat the Zentradi.

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3 points

The Zentradi thought swimsuits were armor, they don’t exactly have a track record for brilliant decision making

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