36 points
*

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they’re gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, “Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I’ll bring you a fresh one as soon as you’re low.”

The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we’re drinking together.”

The bartender thinks it’s a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy’s three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more.

The bartender says sadly, “Knowing your tradition, I’d just like to just say that I’m sorry you’ve lost a brother.”

The man replies, “Oh, my brothers are fine. I just quit drinking.”

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15 points

Just ask for the shots to go, friends are at home. Problem solved

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6 points

But what do I do when I come back for 4 more?

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5 points

Dog: I just asked you to bring them over

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3 points

My bartenders are all well aware of who I am. The only reason they’d blink at this request from me is that it’s tequila instead of bourbon.

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