10 points

Write your name on the PC

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6 points

What if they replace your name with your name. Is it still your name?

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2 points

It’s your name in name only

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40 points

Okay, I know how to stop them. I’ll tell you the steps one at a time. First, take your meds.

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10 points

Don’t listen to this fool with his big pharma lies, what you gotta do is cover your computer desk with a layer of spray on glue, when you leave those little shits will come and get stuck, now you have your own magic prisoners!

I use mine yo help with small things, one of them is amazing at painting nails. Best 5 bucks I’ve spent.

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Then?

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2 points

Wait for them to kick in. An hour should be plenty.

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1 point

Okay they kicked in. What next?

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22 points

Is this why sometimes my computer says I don’t have permission to access my files?

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19 points
*

You’re not the administrator anymore dummy, the gnomes are. What you gotta do is wait until 3 am (peek gnome hour) and wait for them to emerge, hold one hostage and demand that gnome tech support reinstate you as admin. It’s pretty easy really, just use pepper jack cheese as bait, gnomes fucking live ppj cheese

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22 points

Similarly, I’m pretty sure I’ve been raped by a ninja but how would you know?

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2 points

Cum stains.

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3 points

Maybe a novice but not a seasoned pro.

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8 points

Pee on it to mark it.

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