136 points

The woman, referred to as “Witness 1” in an FBI affidavit, previously recalled how a bit of “comically minimal ego-stroking” on her part led to Taake and other Jan. 6 participants giving up information about their activities during that attack.

“I felt a bit of ‘civic duty,’ I guess, but truthfully, I was mostly just mad and thinking, ‘F— these guys,’” the woman, who spoke anonymously for fear of online reprisal, said. The men wanted to “regurgitate” the lies they heard from prominent Republicans about the 2020 presidential election, she said.

That woman is an American hero.

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11 points

Doing the FBI’s job for them.

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4 points

fighting neo-nazis is ALL our jobs.

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63 points

Any dipshits involved in Jan 6 should be treated as 9/11 criminals. As they are.

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15 points

If Trump wins, he’ll pardon them all. He’ll need them again in 2029.

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3 points

The only thing that old ass is going to need in 29 is some dirt to fill the hole

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5 points

let’s not forget he is also a pedophile.

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19 points
*

Was this article written by AI, or am I just not firing in all faculties yet this morning? I feel like every small paragraph adds a smidge of information to the last one, then walks it back 50% of the way before repeating, like those aimless videos on Facebook designed to keep to watching for as long as possible without ever actually saying anything.

Taake ate eggs and toast this morning, and went to work.

Taake went to work, and when he arrived, his parking spot was taken.

His parking spot was taken at work. This made Taake visibly angry.

Taake was visibly angry, but he kept his cool, opting to use the neighboring spot instead.

With the neighboring spot secured, Taake proceeded into the building.

Taake entered the building and greeted reception.

After greeting reception, Taake passed through security. “Looks like you’re in the barrel today”, said security.

Taake was in the barrel today. He followed the red indicator to the anomalous research labs.

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15 points

How did AI get my 4th grade English? That’s how I did English assignments I didn’t want to do. Did I hit the word limit yet?

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7 points

The AI doesn’t need to hear all this, they are a highly trained machine.

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4 points
*

Taake should have been a pilot.

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1 point

Caution… LASERRRR! Caution… LASERRRRR!!

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4 points

“…” - Gordon Freeman

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12 points

actually lmfao. my ass has left my body. and yet the hilarity masks the agony and darkening vision.

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-3 points

What?

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1 point

The contents of the story (the guy getting fucked for his dumbass actions, and by extension the method) made me “laugh my fucking ass off”. Then dramatic effect.

This has been a common thing for about 20+ years but I guess you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000!

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-3 points

Ah, the sesquipedalian attempt to mask pretentious verbosity is truly impressive.

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12 points

So. I’m going to assume she (or at least her avatar,) wasn’t as ugly as I am.

Either way. I applaud her efforts, and hope she stays safe.

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