Conservative-dominated court restores books denounced by officials as ‘pornographic filth’ to school libraries

An appellate court has ruled that Texas cannot ban books from libraries simply because they mention “butt and fart” and other content which some state officials may dislike.

The fifth US circuit court of appeals issued its decision on Thursday in a 76-page majority opinion, which was written by Judge Jacques Wiener Jr and opened with a quote from American poet Walt Whitman: “The dirtiest book in all the world is the expurgated book.”

In its decision, the appellate court declared that “government actors may not remove books from a public library with the intent to deprive patrons of access to ideas with which they disagree”.

134 points

And these old farts are complaining about how “soft” today’s youth are? They really need to get their heads out of their butts.

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24 points

And also tout freedom of speech.

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10 points
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10 points

They gonna come for your post next.

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7 points

And when bullshit like this gets passed and they get in trouble, they automatically assume it’s the left lol

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79 points
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Imagine having to write 76 pages in response to this bullshit

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48 points
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To be fair, he didn’t have to make it that long.

On the other hand, we wouldn’t have gotten this:

• Seven “butt and fart” books, with titles like I Broke My Butt! and Larry the Farting Leprechaun;

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24 points

for extra effect, I recommend reading through the opinion first before imagining. The high quality of the writing really accentuates the ludicrous degree of clown shit on display from the GOP.

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10 points

The primary opinion is only 27 pages. The rest is a three page concurrence a 46 page dissent by Duncan.

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1 point

It’s still 76 pages of legal writing because the GQP has become so good at wasting our time.

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66 points

I think it says something that one of the books they were trying to ban was Called Themselves the K.K.K: The Birth of an American Terrorist Group by Susan Campbell Bartoletti.

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47 points

If you look at the books that were banned and take out all the humorous ones about butts and farts, you’re left almost exclusively with books about past conservative atrocities and books about current targets of conservative bigotry.

The people who want to ban these books were too bigoted for the 5th Circuit. They’ll probably try to close the whole library next.

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54 points
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The Bible describes God showing Moses his ‘backside’, which a number of actual scholars interpret as including his butt.

Not sure about farts in the Bible, but there’s stories about rape, incest, at one point a description of men with ‘emission like donkeys’, ie, huge cum loads from big dicks.

They seem to never learn that if you try to ban ‘pornographic’ text, you’ll have to ban the Bible as well.

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9 points

Nuh uh. I swored on the bi-bull three times. That ain’t in there. I never heard my preacher say that and all he ever talked about was the bi-bull.

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6 points

That’s one angle though isn’t it, so then they can claim religious persecution?

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48 points

From the “fuck your feelings” crowd lol

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14 points

No, no, no! You got it all wrong. It’s the kiiiiiiiids.

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12 points

Kids fucking live for fart and butt jokes. I’ve never seen a group of children giggle harder than when I watched a teacher read “I Need a New Butt.”

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11 points

My older kids went through a phase where they were just randomly saying “butt” for like a year. By the end of it I couldn’t stand my own ass.

“Hey dad, dad, DAD!”

“What is it kiddo?”

“Butts! Ahahahahaha. Just picture it, crack down the middle, poopin’, just hanging out being a butt.”

When I realized I hadn’t heard the word “butt” for a few months, my sigh of relief could have changed the orbit of the planet.

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