A pirate captain comes out of his quarters, and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. So the quartermaster comes over and says, “Arr, Captain! Why do ye have a steering wheel in your pants?” The captain replies, “Arr I don’t know but it’s been drivin’ me nuts all day!”

This is how I subdue my cat during laundry.

If the whole world smoked a joint simultaneously, there would be peace for a few hours, followed by a global food shortage.

What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner? The drunk will run a stop sign, the stoner will wait for it to turn green.

Weed is crazy these days. Buddy handed me a joint and I took a big ole hit, felt something cold on my shoulder, turned around and it was the fucking floor.

Cheers, mate!

Muh babiez