146 points
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The creator of DST gets the first slap. Then the timezones asshole.

I’m planning to do a presentation at work on how to deal with dates/times/timezones/conversion/etc in the next few weeks some time. I figure it would be a good topic to cover. I’m going to start my talk by saying “first, imagine there is no such thing as timezones or DST.” And then build on that.

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84 points

Sandford Fleming (the guy who invented time zones) actually made it easier.

Before timezones, every town had their own clock that defined the time for their town and was loosely set such that “noon is when the sun is at its highest point in the sky.” Which couldn’t be measured all that accurately.

If it wasn’t for Fleming, we’d be dealing with every city or town having a separate time zone.

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30 points

Save a slap for the dude who invented sundials, and another slap for the dude who invented civilization.

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11 points

Some asshole had the idea to water a seed and now I have to pay taxes. Fuck that guy.

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3 points

Save a slap for the dude who invented slaps!

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3 points

This but unironically.

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7 points

Everyone complaining about timezones is truly missing the forests for the trees.

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33 points

Imagine, if we were just all on the same time. It’d just make things, a little easier.

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63 points
*

All in the same time? But… Then the sun might go down at noon. That doesn’t make sense…

Wait… Noon? Noooon…

The word noon comes from a Latin root, nona hora, or “ninth hour.” In medieval times, noon fell at three PM, nine hours after a monk’s traditional rising hour of six o’clock in the morning. Over time, as noon came to be synonymous in English with midday, its timing changed to twelve PM.

Oh now that’s worse

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7 points

We must establish a new order of monks, who all get up at 6am UTC. We can call them in sync

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3 points

Just let go of all meaning. 2 PM can be in the middle of the night if you just let go.

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2 points

It just means the monks have to get up at 3am.

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2 points

Life, that is. It would just make life a little easier.

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9 points

Save a slap for the leap seconds creator.

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8 points
*

What’s DST?

Edit: oh it means Daylights Savings Time

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28 points

Dick sucking time

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7 points

That’s the only time zone I’m for!

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6 points

You might want to show them this video https://youtu.be/-5wpm-gesOY

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4 points

Oh yeah, please do imagine there is no such thing as a time zone.

On an ellipsoid!

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2 points

No, see, how it would work without timezones is:

  • Everyone would use UTC and a 24-hour clock rather than AM/PM.
  • If that means you eat breakfast at 1400 hours and go to bed around 400 hours and that the sun is directly overhead at 1700 hours (or something more random like 1737), fine. (Better than fine, actually!)
  • Every area keeps track of what time of day daily events (like meals, when school starts or lets out, etc) happen. Though I think generally rounding to the nearest whole hour or, maybe in some cases, half hour makes the most sense. (And it’s not even like everyone in the same area keeps the same schedule as it is now.)
  • You still call the period before when the sun is directly overhead “morning” and the period after “afternoon” and similarly with “evening”, “night”, “dawn”, “noon”, “midnight” etc.
  • One caveat is that with this approach, the day-of-the-month change (when we switch from the 29th of the month to the 30th, for instance) happens at different times of the day (like, in the above example it would be close to 1900 hours) for different people. Oh well. People will get used to it. But I think it still makes the most sense to decide that the days of the week (“Monday”, “Tuesday”, etc) last from whatever time “midnight” is locally to the following midnight, again probably rounding to the nearest whole hour. (Now, you might be thinking "yeah, but that’s just timezones again. But consider those timezones. The way you’d figure out what day of the week it was would involve taking the longitude and rounding. Much simpler than having to keep a whole-ass database of all the data about all the different timezones. And it would only come into play when having to decide when the day of the week changes over.)
  • Though, one more caveat. If you do that, then there has to be a longitudinal line where it’s always a different day of the week on one side than it is just on the other side. But that’s already the case today, so not really a drawback relative to what we have today.
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7 points
*

You still call the period before when the sun is directly overhead “morning” and the period after “afternoon” and similarly with “evening”, “night”, “dawn”, “noon”, “midnight” etc.

Note that the Sun position is not consistent throught the year and varies widely based on your latitude.

In Iceland (and also Alaska) you can have the Sun for a full 24 hours in the sky (they call it “midnight sun”) during Summer solstice (with extremelly short nights the whole summer) and the opposite happens in Winter, with long periods of night time.

I think it still makes the most sense to decide that the days of the week (“Monday”, “Tuesday”, etc) last from whatever time “midnight” is locally to the following midnight, again probably rounding to the nearest whole hour.

Just the days of the week? you mean that 2024-06-30 23:59 and 2024-07-01 00:01 can both be the same weekday and at the same time be different days? Would the definition of “day” be different based on whether you are talking about “day of the week” vs “universal day”?

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4 points

regarding day change, you could also just have it change at UTC midnight and the entire planet bongs at that time if they’re awake.

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4 points

DST people should get hung. By three balls. Fuck them.

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2 points

Is this something that is going to be publicly available? If so, post a link when you have it.

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70 points

It’s pretty simple, actually. A village somewhere in Europe that is completely in the shade all day for part of the year has already proven it.

Mirrors.

We just need a ring of motorized mirrors around the Earth.

At hour 0, the mirrors will rotate to show sun all across the entire Earth.

At hour 12, the mirrors will rotate to put all of the Earth into night time.

That lets the entire Earth have the exact same synchronized time synchronized with the daylight.

The mirrors will block the sun from parts of the earth facing during the night.

The mirrors will constantly be rotating to keep the proper amount of sun light facing each part of Earth as the Earth rotates.

The mirrors will be solar powered.

This will fix it, right?

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42 points

I don’t see any way whatsoever that could mean this project is not viable.

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28 points

Now I’m thinking about an ex-programmer supervillain who does this as her big foray into supervillainy

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19 points

The Year: 2092

The Problem: Timezones are annoying

The Solution: Space mirrors! A series of mirrors in space would rotate to keep the entire planet under a single time zone. A perfect global time system is born!

Sounds like a great idea! With the best of intentions. What could possibly go wrong?

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6 points

There have been several concepts drawn up about using space mirrors as a way to focus the light from the sun into a deathray

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3 points

That was a nod to Great Moments in Unintended Consequences. (Example)

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9 points
*

Alternatively, we have this arbitrary standard of 9am means morning, if we share a single universal time, different places would just have a different arbitrary time being the “morning” instead.

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10 points
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Or, we could collectively realize time is but an illusion and transcend this silly problem.

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5 points

Lunchtime, doubly so!

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2 points

Time is a cube, and always will be.

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7 points

i would aruge that the arbitrary factor of “9am being morning” is entirely to do with the fact that morning is actually a solar time phenomenon, whereas global time does not have the concept of morning, since it is merely imitating the local solar time.

Local solar time being the literal point in the sky that the sun is in.

It gets even funnier if we include people who aren’t “normal” I for one, consider noon to be morning.

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2 points

We could keep the 0 hour as the “middle” of the night and 12 being the “middle” of the day (though I’m not sure if that’s really the sun’s high spot for the day for any places).

But with fully controlled mirrors, we could make it exactly 12 hours, so we could just then switch to the 0 hour being when the sun comes up.

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9 points

Sounds feasible.

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61 points

obligatory: https://qntm.org/abolish

Before I read this article, I also thought it would be a great idea to get rid of timezones entirely and just use UTC for everything. To quote from the link, (please forgive me for being lazy and not formatting it correctly)

Abolishing time zones brings many benefits, I hope. It also:

  • causes the question “What time is it there?” to be useless/unanswerable
  • necessitates significant changes to the way in which normal people talk about time
  • convolutes timetables, where present
  • means “days” (of the week) are no longer the same as “days”
  • complicates both secular and religious law
  • is a staggering inconvenience for a minimum of five billion people
  • makes it near-impossible to reason about time in other parts of the world
  • does not mean everybody gets up at the same time, goes to work at the same time, or goes to bed at the same time
  • is not simpler.

As long as humans live in more than one part of the world, solar time is always going to be subjective. Abolishing time zones only exacerbates this problem.

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16 points

Timezones make intuitive sense for humans

UTC / Unix timestamps make intuitive sense for computers

The issue is bridging the gap

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7 points

Well, a large part of the issue are all the damn exceptions

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7 points

Eh, I think the article blows the situation out of proportion. Overall you’re still in the same situation as before. Instead you would just be looking up a timetable of sunrises/sunsets, instead of a timezone chart. It ends up mostly reframing the question from “what time is it there?” to “what time of day is it there?”. The real version of “after abolishing time zones” is “google tells me it is before sunrise there. It’s probably best not to call right now.”

I’ve been using UTC on my own clocks without issue, and the change is not some completely reality-breaking thing - not anymore than DST. From a matter of personal perspective it just shifts what time correlates to what time of day.

using UTC also simplifies the questions “what times can I call you at?” And “when should we have our call?” since you have the same temporal standard. Even before that, I was scheduling calls with family by stating the call would be at such-and-such time UTC.

The biggest difference is with when the date changes, and I think that ultimately is the hardest pill to swallow, and that’s even compared to stomaching the sun rising at 2 AM. Having it change from June 5th to June 6th in the middle of a workweek, or even jumping to another month would bother alot of folks in a significant fashion.

Ultimately it’s just a personal practice. No nation is going to abolish time zones if everyone still uses time zones. I just prefer it for various reasons.

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1 point
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If you want your sunrise to be at 12am, go ahead.

If you really want to fix something. Fix months

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2 points
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Between the two, months is much harder. With time, you just set your clocks to UTC. To get months fixed you need mass adoption, rewriting calendar software, etc.

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5 points

Yeah it’s just being angry about the fact that the Earth is rotating ball. Wanting to abolish timezones is different from Flat Earth only be degrees.

Sure the “what time is it there?” question goes away, but it’s replaced by “what are your business hours?”

Ultimately it will be daytime in one part of the world while it’s night in another part of the world. That will always cause problems.

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3 points

This is a fantastic write-up, thanks for sharing!

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61 points

You know the system before timezones was way worse, right? Every town had their own time.

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24 points

That problem happened because there was no way to travel from town to town quickly so if the clocks were off nobody cared. The trains changed that.

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57 points

I used to think this way, then it was pointed out to me that, without timezones, we’d be in a situation where Saturday starts mid-workday in some places.

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44 points

Yeah, timezones are absolutely helpful from a logistics and coordination standpoint. Daylight savings time, though… That nonsense needs to be eliminated. So what if it will be dark well into morning wake hours in the winter, I’d take it over dealing with the time change twice a year.

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12 points
*

Anti-DST… The almost accidental political bridge. Kinda funny actually: https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-senate-approves-bill-that-would-make-daylight-savings-time-permanent-2023-2022-03-15/

Look at the names of the quotes. Both sides are commenting on how dumb it is.

Then the House got involved.

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6 points

that-would-make-daylight-savings-time-permanent

fwiw this is by some metrics even worse than switching back and forth

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2 points

timezones are absolutely helpful from a logistics and coordination standpoint

They’re a downside from a coordination standpoint. If everyone was on UTC, you could say “the meeting is at 04:00” and everyone, anywhere in the world, will know when the meeting is. In the real world, you have to say “the meeting is at 2pm AEST” and then someone in AEDT will have to think “oh, that’s 3pm for me”, and someone in American EST will have to convert to UTC and then convert to their time. It’s a huge pain.

So what if it will be dark well into morning wake hours in the winter

That’s not something that DST does. It would be something that switching to year-round DST would do, but permanent standard time doesn’t change winter hours at all. It can mean you might have dark mornings (especially early and late summer—after the switch to DST and before the switch back to standard time), depending on how far west you are in your time zone and how far away from the equator you are. That’s the main thing DST does: swap bright mornings for bright afternoons in summer. Which is kinda silly considering it’s done at the time of year when afternoons are already bright for the longest. It’s also very harmful to public health.

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14 points
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But… We have UTC already, so calculating the difference is a non-issue. If you got rid of timezones, you’d still end up creating it in all but name since the vast majority of business will be occurring during daytime hours around the world. For example, an office in Tokyo sending emails to their NYC office at 0800 UTC (currently 0400 EDT in NYC) wouldn’t end up getting answered for at least 3-4 hours when those employees started logging in. In other words, people would still be doing calculations in their heads to know when business hours are in that region, essentially recreating timezones.

As for your second paragraph, I agree, and I did have it backwards, thanks for the correction. In the summertime where I live, the sun has risen by roughly 0530 and sets around 2100. In the wintertime, the sun is rising around 0700-0730 and setting around 1630-1700 at its shortest daylight hours. Like you said, staying at standard would mean in the summertime we’d have brighter mornings, but curtains and shutters exist for a reason. Personally, I think having it still be bright out at 2030 is kind of annoying.

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11 points

Eliminating time zones doesn’t make scheduling meetings easier it just changes the language. Instead of figuring out what time it is elsewhere you have to remember what normal working hours are, Europe, US, and Japan aren’t all going to be available 9-5 UTC. It’s just as easy to suggest a meeting at functionally midnight without time zones.

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0 points

I have never really understood why people care so much about the change.

You will just wake up one hour later or earlier twice a year, so what? I do that multiple times a week, twice per year isn’t too bad.

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9 points
8 points

You obviously don’t suffer from a sensitive circadian rhythm. To that I’d say, lucky you. But there are plenty of people who do suffer. And by the time they finally get used to the time change, it’s time to change again. It’s vicious and disruptive; to more than just scheduling. It has a direct (negative) impact on physical and mental health.

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1 point

Some places don’t observe it, so you can be off an hour one way or the other even if you have the timezone right.

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5 points

Assuming you used UTC as the shared time zone, 00:00 on Saturday would start at what is today 4pm in US Pacific Standard Time. So you’d finish work at 01:00 Saturday.

On the other hand, you wouldn’t resume work until 17:00 on Monday.

So you’re not losing any weekend time.

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4 points
Deleted by creator
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0 points
*

Fuck days! We should all just use epoch and that’s it.

Wanna meetup at 1719853000

Sure! What time?

Around 900?

Great!

And they meetup on roughly 1.7.24 17:12:00 GMT

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