Mr. Beast / Hawk Tuah Girl 2024

34 points

"I don’t believe in anything besides trite platitudes, I treat politics as one-dimensional, I would have partisan advisors but somehow be able to fully resist the influence of money and party politics.

When you are approaching a highway exit, with one turn staying on the highway and one turn going off, my recommendation is to stick to the middle ground."

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10 points

Is this an Eric Adams quote?

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8 points

You’d be excused in thinking I didn’t just invent it.

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14 points

There are experts on the right?

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8 points

This asshole is only 20? Christ

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3 points

No he just can’t do math

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in deciding if i will vote for Mr. Beast, i will consult experts who support Mr. Beast and experts who do not support Mr. Beast equally and then decide that the issue of Mr. Beast is too contentious and divisive and that he must, to heal the nation, be dropped in the middle of the ocean where nature will be allowed to determine the best course.

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14 points
*

Also we’re gonna choose a bunch of people to wear my mark

And I will appear to sustain a mortal wound but will miraculously survive

At some point the first seal will be broken and the scrolls will be opened and the Horsemen will ride across the land laying waste

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3 points

If that happens I’m becoming religious and converting to Islam. I don’t care about my soul, I’m just not comfortable praying to a version of God that is so cringe.

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